Author Topic: Attacked  (Read 560 times)

Offline ?Sweet?Dream?

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Attacked
« on: December 08, 2011, 08:29:14 pm »
I was raped by a stranger last year on a night out with friends. Guy got away with it because there wasn't enough evidence and no witnesses. Since then I have found the love of my life and often when we have sex I have panic attacks and flashbacks. So angry that the worst thing in my life is affecting the best thing in it. Tried therapy and my bf is always there but I need to put it behind me. Any advice? Plz xxxx

Offline Tubbs

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Re: Attacked
« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2011, 01:03:22 am »
Omgg I'm so sry

Offline tennisgirl

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Re: Attacked
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2011, 02:30:12 am »
Hi! First off I want to say I am so sorry that this happened to you cuz I know it can b really scary and difficult to deal with. The same thing happened to my neighbor about 7 years ago, and I still remember it and sometimes even have nightmares about the things she told me. How old r u? I think wat u should do is talk to ur bf some more. Its so great the he is ther to give u support! Maybe he can help u try to forget these things and hopefully get rid of the thoughts and flashbacks. It might take a while but it will hopefully help. Just tell him everything u remember about when it happened and maybe if u clear all the thoughts out of ur mind then u could b less scared of it. The main thing I think is the more u talk about it, the better u will feel. I know that helped my neighbor! I hope this helps!!

Offline BCn3kids

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Re: Attacked
« Reply #3 on: December 09, 2011, 04:40:38 am »
:,-( when I was younger a similar situation, I found that when my partner at the time would come up behind me or touch I would be fighting him and freaking out... It is ok, I got through it by talking with him and a counseling where I was told  to not have sex for a while and for us to go back to step one of talking, snuggling and getting to know each other again. I don't know how supportive ur man is but this really really helped us! And it didn't take long.... I am so sorry that u went through this one thing I have to say is be strong don't give the creap anothe thought he is the scum!!!!

Offline ?Sweet?Dream?

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Re: Attacked
« Reply #4 on: December 09, 2011, 11:17:51 pm »
Thanks girls :) it's disgusting that these sick perverts get away with this so often...probably the reason they do it more. And all the pain of going through examinations and video police interviews and then that's still not enough because although the DNA matched, his word was that I wanted it!..My boyfriend couldn't be any more supportive, I've freaked out so many times I'm startin to think he expects it. How long did it take u to get through the worst?? And think il try going back to basics :) thankyou, u know any good ways of dealing with the anger of it? Xxx

Offline ?Sweet?Dream?

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Re: Attacked
« Reply #5 on: December 09, 2011, 11:24:19 pm »
I'm 22 btw!

Offline BCn3kids

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Re: Attacked
« Reply #6 on: December 10, 2011, 05:12:32 am »
:,-( I am 27 now and I was 17 when I was attacked, at that time my partner of 7 years helped me through it as well.... I found trusting physical contact again was hard. And it did take time it was about 4months till we did it again... But in saying that we played around alot but I wasn't ready for it.... When we did it was amazing... You need to trust ur self, listen to ur feelings and if ur ready then great but the worst thing u can do is just give him what he wants,,, that's like repeting the feeling of being used!!! I know the anger is hard to get over, I am still pissed off!!! But it's true it will subside with time... But u never get over it! So just take time honey it will get better!! Xxx <3 

Offline ?Sweet?Dream?

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Re: Attacked
« Reply #7 on: December 10, 2011, 12:26:10 pm »
Thanx Hun, really appreciate the advice :) My bf never makes me feel used, he always asks first before he initiates it. He's really considerate :) iv told him most of what happened but not during the actual attack, couldnt get the words out. How was counselling? I know it's easier talking about it with people u don't know. None of my family and best friends know, I covered it up and lied about where I was for a while after. And sometimes I just wanna scream cause I can't tell them what I'm going through. I don't wanna bring them down with me cos I know I'm strong and can deal with it. Just struggling a lot especially since the 1 year anniversary xxx

Offline BCn3kids

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Re: Attacked
« Reply #8 on: December 10, 2011, 02:17:02 pm »
By the sound of it he is a great catch.. ;) I really think that counseling is what u need.... I recommend talking to someone, it really helps, I don't know where u r, but I find that I still call the victims of sexual assault help line when I need someone to talk with... I am in Sydney australia and the people are so supportive :) i also think u should talk with ur family, i didnt tell my mum till i was 25... And my mum was so distoryed that i hadnt and she still sees me and crys that she didnt know to help me!!! .... Like I said before take time focus on loving u and trusting ur amazing, supportive man:) u don't want to let the actions of a creap stop u from living ur life to the fullest :) <3

Offline ?Sweet?Dream?

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Re: Attacked
« Reply #9 on: December 11, 2011, 01:24:43 am »
I don't think I can ever tell my family now. It's been too long n I hate the way that people treat u differently when u tell them n make a fuss when all u want is a hug. I'm in th u.k n we have similar things here. I'm so glad things hav worked out for u n I'm sorry for u 2. Admire u alot! I'm defo gunna arrange counselling ASAP, thanks very much for ur help :D xxx