TTC buddy

[AngelaFox]

Yeah definitely tell him to stay behind curtain on your end! Haha

[Ria1712]

Honestly if he faints il kill him. 32 weeks today, its scary to think I only have about 6 weeks left. Today is my best friends wedding though and I'm so looking forward to it even if its going to be a long day with being in work after. Just not got dressed up in a long time and will be good to be a bit more then just a pregnant person.

[AngelaFox]

Hope you had good time at the wedding!

Our nct class was great. And one of the couples turned out to be practically our neighbours, we live on the the same street and only are 6 days apart with our due dates haha

[Ria1712]

The wedding was great, but I was so uncomfortable so glad it wasn't a full day event. I was also very emotional think it was the pregnancy hormones as I had to stop myself crying during the ceremony. It also made us come to the decision that once baby is home we are going to start planning our wedding properly for in 2021.

Glad you met people that live close it's always nice to have friends close as your kids can grow up together etc. How is your nephew doing?

Nikkilou how are you doing?

[AngelaFox]

[Ria1712]

Glad to hear your nephew is doing well.

I completely get where you come from, there were a few people that said to my partner about it being his last father's day before being a dad but to us he already is. Yes this is his first child but he's done more for Leo then some people that already have kids. I got him a card and a little present and wrote a message in from both me and baby. Mothers day this year was the first time I've never received anything, we had only just had the news about baby's condition so my partner didn't get me anything. Since I lost my son his dad had always sent me something even if it was just a message but this year he's cut all ties and didn't do anything. I sent him a message yesterday to wish him a happy father's day but got nothing in return not even sure he has the same phone number and tbh it hurt because like you said no one seems to count you as a parent when you didn't get to take your baby home. Its like when people say you wouldnt understand your not a parent or wait till your a parent but to me I am a mum and I have been to my little boy for the past 7 years.

[AngelaFox]

[Ria1712]

Yeah tbh I just sort of deal with it on my own. I tell Leo about his big brother looking down on him and as you said it's horrible to think of all the milestones our angels would of hit. My little boy would of been 7 this year and I just can't imagine it, my life would of been completely different if I didn't go in to labour, I always just think another month and he may of made it. Ive had people ask over the years did I not regret getting pregnant that young and no I don't, yes it wasn't planned and I was terrified but I loved him and he helped me turn my life around. The only thing I regret is not telling the people I should of because going through it alone was so much harder. As much as it hurts that his dad has cut ties I knew it would happen one day, a lot of people were against us staying in touch and we were very close friends for so long after but we're now at different point in our lives.

My mind now has to be on Leo and what he needs because I can't loose another baby. Today was the first time my OH looked over at my phone whilst I was on my support group and was reading a post about a baby recovering from his 2nd surgery that will be Leo's 3rd and I think it really hit him. I'm glad it was the post it was as it was mostly positive and despite a healing wound from surgery and being on oxygen the little boy at 6 months old was sat smiling like nothing was wrong. It's amazing how strong babies are, everyone always says it will be horrible him not knowing what's happening but the point is he won't know any different and by the time he's older he won't ever remember his surgery's.

[AngelaFox]

[Missdyan]

[AngelaFox]

[Ria1712]

I have to say I agree with Angela. I understand I may not have a full understanding of parenting as I didn't get a chance with my son but I still gave birth to him, I still heard his heart beat and he still changed my life. I am his mum and I always will be, in my head yes I will be a mum of 2 when Leo arrives but with how society is and even though a lot of people know about my first baby to everyone else Leo will be my only child. I just don't get when that will change, like what if we loose Leo after a month, year or maybe longer would we still be parents?

We had our scan yesterday and was gutted to be told that it would be our last one. I'm a little concerned as I know scans are more accurate but the weight is a few ounces lower then what the midwife predicted last week. I don't think they noticed as they didn't plot it on the chart so I might call my midwife to ask about it today. Our section is booked for the 1st August and his condition is unchanged, they are now saying he may not need surgery at birth as he does have some flow and it could open further when born but the team will still be ready and with us. Tomorrow will be my last day at work and honestly I am so ready, I am so tired and in pain I can't wait to just sleep.

[AngelaFox]

[Ria1712]

Yeah I'm meant to have 2 weeks left and only changed it recently because I started to struggle as I do lates twice a week. Midwife estimated 5 pound 1 last week and scan estimated 4 pound 14 yesterday. My section will be at 38+5 so still need to have steroid injections.

[AngelaFox]