Author Topic: Boyfriend isn't supportive of my depression please help  (Read 392 times)

Offline Kaytx

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Boyfriend isn't supportive of my depression please help
« on: August 24, 2016, 02:21:44 PM »
I have suffered from severe depression/ anxiety from 8 years old (caused by childhood abuse/molestation) I get very low most of the time and I feel I can not talk to my BF about it as when I do like tonight i called him on the phone and said Iv been depressed and he just completly bes very blunt with me doesn't say alot and he went completly funny (not nice) to me when I told him I am gonna have to go to the doctor and see about my depression he then went funny with me again (as in not nice /nasty/blunt) and said am going now even tho I begged him to stay and speak to me. Then he texted me saying you always make me sad when we talk you always have to bring us down ect ect now I feel even worse and feel like I need to hurt my self because I feel like I am hurting him and I feel like it's my fault. Also he does suffer from depression. But he's never there for me. Though I am ALWAYS there and supportive of him

Offline Socks33

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Re: Boyfriend isn't supportive of my depression please help
« Reply #1 on: August 24, 2016, 02:37:23 PM »
Sounds like you'd be better without him. Honestly if he isn't even helping you when he knows what it's like he's ether 1) selfish and self centred 2) lying about his depression or 3) doesn't really care about you. Id say leave him. Focus on you because you listening to him all the time you take on his issues and have no outlet for yours. And find someone who actually bothers to care about you. You deserve better

Offline Kaytx

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Re: Boyfriend isn't supportive of my depression please help
« Reply #2 on: August 24, 2016, 02:48:37 PM »
First of - thank you for your comment, it's made me feel a lot better. It's hard for me to say whether he truely cares or not he says he does but yet like when I need him the most he isn't there for me at all. Iv cried on the phone to him at times begging him to talk to me about things and all he's said is I don't care I can't be bothered over and over. I am
On the verge of leaving him tho it's hard 1) because he always has said if he didn't have me or if I left him he would kill him self (now if he did that, that would litterally be the death of me.) 2) he is the love of my life and I can't imagine my life without him but the other half feels like he don't make me happy all of the time and He doesn't show me his love as much as I'd like (I feel
I loved unwanted alot ) but he's all Iv ever known and had he's my
First ever boyfriend first ever everything and it's hard to leave him for many reasons. But I know I need to for my own sake cause he makes me
More depressed and he is completly against me taking medications for my depression ( he knows Iv tried to kill myself many times ) yet he is not supportive of me taking meds to help me. When I mention it to him he gets very moody with me then ignores me.


But thank you for your comment it made me feel better as he made me feel like it's my fault but it's not really he's just being a prick

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Re: Boyfriend isn't supportive of my depression please help
« Reply #2 on: August 24, 2016, 02:48:37 PM »

Offline Socks33

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Re: Boyfriend isn't supportive of my depression please help
« Reply #3 on: August 24, 2016, 07:49:40 PM »
Firstly medication is brilliant for chemical depression and if it helps you then you take it. Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad. Him pushing it to you and telling you it's your fault is a sign of emotional abuse. Same as the suicide threat. Honestly dont even consider that as a reason to stay. It's manipulative and stupid. If he did then you should feel no guilt as it's entirely his actions. Not yours. And you just said it yourself. The way he says he doesn't care about your issues then he really isn't worth your time

He's your first BF. You may feel you love him but I'm gonna tell you the honest truth. I was with a guy on and off for three years. To put it down to the basics he's my first love. But our relationship was toxic. Leaving him in the end hurt like a bitch. It really did affect me but I met someone else. And honestly I don't regret leaving my ex and then finding him. You'll find someone else. You're young and you've plenty of time to do so. You may think you'll never find someone again but trust me you will. And you'll be better off for it.

Offline Periodstuff

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Re: Boyfriend isn't supportive of my depression please help
« Reply #4 on: August 24, 2016, 08:19:16 PM »
This post gets me so angry! I want to punch your boyfriend and shake the crap out of you!! Socks makes really good points about your boyfriend.
At first I wanted to say that it's hard work being with someone with depression and you really shouldn't rely on one person to be your support but he's not any help at all and I'm sure he's making you feel even more alone. He's having a negative effect on you.
It makes me furious that your boyfriend has an opinion like that about medication. That alone would be a deal breaker for me. You wouldn't tell a diabetic or someone with heart problems not to take medication.  He is so selfish I can't believe he's manipulating and blackmailing you by saying he'll kill himself if you break up. This guy is not good and you are not responsible for anything he does to himself. He's just saying it to control you.

Offline Kitty466

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Re: Boyfriend isn't supportive of my depression please help
« Reply #5 on: August 25, 2016, 04:54:14 AM »
I really feel for you, I had a similar relationship a few years ago. I got diagnosed with BPD and depression and my boyfriend at the time used to act like I wasn't unwell, he refused to talk about it or if I was triggered and in a dark place he would say don't worry you're just in a bad mood blah blah blah. He used to tell me I shouldnt take the meds because I'll be addicted and they'll change me Or if we used to argue he would say you're just saying this because your mental.. He threatened to kill himself every argument and I would be so scared he would until I had enough then told him to do it ( I knew he wouldn't) he was just using it as a way to control me. I eventually wised up and told him to piss off.. Now 3 years on I'm completely stable and off meds and In a wonderful relationship with a bloke who supports me is always here if I need to talk... I realised that last boyfriend was a HUGE trigger for me and was making me so much worse. It is scary taking them steps and ending things but it's a toxic relationship. I thought I wouldn't meet someone else like you said but I have and I couldn't be happier. If you need to talk you can message me. Stay strong x

Offline Lola3

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Re: Boyfriend isn't supportive of my depression please help
« Reply #6 on: August 26, 2016, 08:08:36 AM »
If you leave him, that would be the BEST decision you would have ever taken in your life.
Remember we can't change our past as much as we would love to but we can always control what is in the present. Your future is in YOUR hands.
He is emotionally abusing you. Along with many other cowardly things but if he chooses to kill himself that's not your problem. You seek your happiness girl.
(By the way, he loves himself too much to hurt himself so please don't fall for that bullcrap)

You deserve someone to give you that love back and not have anyone make you feel bad for being human! Depression means you are hurting and hurting makes you human. Seeking help makes you strong and brilliant and empowered but running away and living your life with someone you have to step in egg shells around is the worst thing for your state.

Run as fast and far as you can from him and don't give in to moments of loneliness or weakness. You'll know the difference once you find that one person who will make you understand why nothing ever worked out before him :)

Pray always x

Offline Kaytx

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Re: Boyfriend isn't supportive of my depression please help
« Reply #7 on: August 26, 2016, 09:03:46 AM »
Thank all you lovely girls for your replys to my post. Every single comment means a lot to me and has helped me so much and made me feel a lot better. It's hard at times because he always makes me feel like it's my fault. I don't think he realises how bad my depression really is. As he has said to me
Before what have you got to be depressed about there's nothing wrong with you (physically) and like basically he has worser depression  because he suffers from this hair loss condition (which I am very very supportive of him about) Iv been taking anti depressants behind his back cause I feel like if he finds out I am on them now he will get mad at me and not talk to me then that makes me think what if he hurts himself or kills himself ( that haunts me inside am a very afraid of him ever doing that because he has mentioned wanting to kill himself ) and I know what it's like to be suicidal I have tried countless times since 11 years old Iv tried to kill myself and up until recently actually thinking up on it the last few years Iv been the most suicidal and depressed Iv  tried so many times to just end it ( he doesn't know this ) and a lot of the time it's been because of the stress and the sadness I feel in our rship (does true love support to hurt ? ) but I am still in love with him and I tell him all of the time every single day how much I love him how miuch I care about him ect ect over and over and he's never loving back like he will ether just ignore it or say very little and then that makes me feel unloved unwanted and then he gets annoyed at me for asking him to tell me how much he loves me ect. I need him but yet I want to be free of him but then I will worry myself so much thinking what if he does something to him self ect cause if he did I'd never be able to cope. He's all Iv ever known Iv known him since I was 15 am
Now 20 almost 21 and he's all I really have tbh haven't got a great family unit or any close friends.


I will most likely leave him soon it's it's gonna be hard and scary. I just need to be strong. But thanks everyone your comments make me feel stronger. Thank you and God bless everyone of you. Xx

Offline SamanthaMichel

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Re: Boyfriend isn't supportive of my depression please help
« Reply #8 on: January 17, 2019, 11:27:39 PM »
HI. This is a very common scenario and I can completely understand your situation. Dealing alone with depression is not easy. If you want, you can take help from voyance pure who will guide you in the best way. I am sure her help will be useful to you.


Offline charg

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Re: Boyfriend isn't supportive of my depression please help
« Reply #9 on: January 18, 2019, 12:02:35 AM »
I also suffer from depression along with anxiety. i completely agree with the things the other girls have said!! my boyfriend is aware of my conditions and supports me completely! i believe he does this because he truly loves me and wants me to get better! for example, he will help calm me down and basically treat me as if i am a queen or his queen,, and i don’t say this to make you feel bad just to show you that you deserve to be treated better! you seem like a lovely person and very supportive even though you don’t feel that in return! i hope you can talk to him and get through it even though it may be hard,, don’t give up and goodluck!