Author Topic: Advice please  (Read 417 times)

Offline Louloo

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Advice please
« on: January 31, 2017, 02:05:39 pm »
So my boyfriend and I have been going out quite awhile. Over the past few months he was very needy and slightly controlling saying things like 'be at my house at 2 or don't bother coming if you're any later'
I always felt so under pressure because I would only have a lift out to his when my parents were ready and he just never understood that. When I went to his i would be there nearly all day which would annoy my parents.
Coming up to Christmas me and my boyfriend were arguing and he said some horrible things and my parents seen these messages and were really upset and angry that he was very controlling and how he was putting pressure on me to see him. When everything got sorted between us and my parents I thought he might start to change. I always see him Friday's he comes back to mine because we finish school at 1 and my house is the closest to the school, it's always been that way and then I would go to his one day at the weekend but now he says that Sunday is his study day and that he won't see me so I have to go to his on Saturday but I heard my mam say that my family would be going for dinner on Saturday and once I told them this he got so angry and told me he's sick of my and my parents dictating his life and he said he would break up with me if I don't get out of it. I'm so stuck on what to do.. I don't know what to say to my parents so I can get out of it and I don't know what to say to him.
He is a good guy and he understands me and makes me happy but sometimes he just puts me down.. It isn't all his fault, he lost his bestfriend and he also says that he's the way he is because of me because I was 'Unloyal'.
I just can't deal with this stress and I don't know if I am in the wrong and I don't know what to say to anyone .. I just needed to get this out, if anyone has any advice or anything it would be appreciate

Offline Mrs.singletary161

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Re: Advice please
« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2017, 02:25:13 pm »
You need to leave him if he is this controlling now what will it be like when y'all are older? He's way to controlling go to dinner with your family forget him. That's not right no boyfriend should give you an ultimatum it's just not right. You need to get out of there now plus he's putting you down already again not right. Get out of there now

Offline Socks33

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Re: Advice please
« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2017, 02:59:50 pm »
He clearly doesn't understand you if you respect your parents and can't be at his exactly when he wants you to. Honestly it's the warning signs of a toxic relationship and you need to be thinking about getting out of that

Offline Louloo

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Re: Advice please
« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2017, 03:28:02 pm »
I know I feel like a fool but he has started seeing a counsellor and I'm willing to stick by him if I can change him.. It's just trying to cope with it for the moment.
If he doesn't change I will be leaving but it'll be so tough and I don't know if I'd ever be able to

Offline Cj050502

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Re: Advice please
« Reply #4 on: January 31, 2017, 05:31:49 pm »
You most definitely are not in the wrong I know it may be hard as u seem to really care about him but you need to leave him I know because I have been in your situation and it will only get worse there are plenty of other people out there but if you really don't want to leave him maybe you should try talking to your mum and dad about everything and they will be able to help you but don't do anything you are uncomfortable with

Offline Jenjxc

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Re: Advice please
« Reply #5 on: February 02, 2017, 10:58:28 pm »
I always used to be the one who goes to see my bf cus my family wouldn't allow me to date yet so we always only hang out at his house. It became a routine and I went to his house every week for 4 years, I started to feel like he took me for granted because he gets mad when i can't go over, I ask him if he can meet me half way, he doesn't feel like it. Communication is the key. If he truely loves you, he will understand. But don't hold back though because you have to be able to be yourself.

Offline Lola3

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Re: Advice please
« Reply #6 on: February 03, 2017, 12:57:40 am »
Get.out.ditch.him.immediately!