Author Topic: Urgent help please  (Read 880 times)

Offline Rubyloo

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Urgent help please
« on: June 22, 2017, 04:54:02 PM »
I need help. So my boyfriend and I have been together just over 3 years. We never go out because it's not his thing but there is a concert this weekend and I asked him in front of my parents to go and he said he would and my parents got us the tickets. Today he said he won't go and that I'm not allowed go without him because he doesn't trust me. I'm stuck in a bad place. I don't want to hurt him. I don't want to go without him because I feel it won't be as fun but I want to go because I like the band and I like to sing and dance. I don't mind too much not going but my parents will know that he's the one stopping me and they'll just get mad and everything would just be awkward. He thinks that's better than losing him.. He said he'd break up with me if I went.
I want to go because I don't want him controlling me and I don't want my parents to think anything but I don't want to lose him. If i don't go I'll have a happy boyfriend and curious/ mad parents and I don't even have a good excuse. What's the right thing to do, he does treat me well and he makes me happy and I don't think he's worth losing but I just don't know. If he cares about me would he break up with me if I went without him?

Offline XCharlieX

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Re: Urgent help please
« Reply #1 on: June 22, 2017, 05:02:12 PM »
Your parents got u the tickets... So why should that be wasted ? The fact he even threatened to break up with u if u go shows how controlling he is. I wouldn't even want to be woth someone like that but at the very least, u should be telling him that you're going with or without him as the tickets are paid for.... because u want to go ... and because u wont be threatened or controlled into not going ! Tell him if thats the end of u guys... So be it.... he'll clearly be doing u a favour.

Offline Mrs.singletary161

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Re: Urgent help please
« Reply #2 on: June 22, 2017, 05:07:46 PM »
I totally agree that is pretty messed up for telling you if you go he'll break up with you. You don't deserve to be in a relationship that you give ultimatums

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Re: Urgent help please
« Reply #2 on: June 22, 2017, 05:07:46 PM »

Offline Rubyloo

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Re: Urgent help please
« Reply #3 on: June 22, 2017, 05:15:16 PM »
I'm also so afraid that if we break up I'll regret it ending and I'll always be like 'what if' and my parents wouldn't ever let me back with him.
We broke up before for awhile and I was so miserable without him and I regretted it so much and I'm afraid that's what's going to happen

Offline Rubyloo

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Re: Urgent help please
« Reply #4 on: June 22, 2017, 05:20:18 PM »
And again he doesn't trust me and eventually he said that his trust issues would be sorted and everything would be okay .. Do I wait for him? I'm so lost, sorry for all the posts

Offline G123

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Re: Urgent help please
« Reply #5 on: June 22, 2017, 05:32:19 PM »
I also agree, you would be miserable without him for a while no doubt about that if ye broke up. But if he's stopping you from having fun ( and I'm assuming he has no reason not to trust you I'm sure you haven't cheated or anything) then that will intact be the thing that will make you miserable in the long run. If ye end up living together, imagine he started controlling you and not letting you out to see your friends ? Have a big think about it.
I'm not telling you to break up with him because as you said he makes you happy other than that. So try have a talk with him and reason out some stuff. Trust issues is lethal in a relationship. Hope it works out. But don't continue living like that and not going to things you'd enjoy to stay going out with someone that's like mild torture.

Offline Socks33

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Re: Urgent help please
« Reply #6 on: June 22, 2017, 06:20:25 PM »
Leave him. You're worth more. He's your boyfriend not your dictator. You are a person not a doormat or mug. Stand up for yourself. Go out. Have fun. Let your hair down and have a bloody good time. Life is too short to miss out on stuff to please one insecure douche bag.

Offline Lola3

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Re: Urgent help please
« Reply #7 on: June 24, 2017, 02:31:06 AM »
That's a toxic relationship! Please get out of it ASAP!

You'll be suprised how much you'll even wear the pants if you break him and his words and leave. Don't let anyone control you.

You'll hate yourself and him eventually... But after what... After wasting too much time with the wrong person.

Online LinkleBlue

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Re: Urgent help please
« Reply #8 on: June 26, 2017, 05:42:39 AM »
I agree with everyone here!! You should definitely go! This is a toxic relationship. My first advice is to break up yourself. He will start controlling with little things and then with big things and before you know you'll be more miserable with him than you'll be without him!

Good luck and hope you make the best decision FOR YOU, not for him!

PS: a relationship without trust is absolutely nothing! If he doesn't trust you, it's better to let it end

Offline NattyRuth

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Re: Urgent help please
« Reply #9 on: June 28, 2017, 05:38:36 PM »
Relationships like this are not healthy. I have been where you are, trust me, you need to GET OUT. He will not change. You will be miserable for a while, you will wonder "what if" but you will eventually get over it. You deserve to be happy and free and comfortable in your relationship. You are worth so much more than this. After I broke up with my ex, I missed him for months. I just wanted to call him and say I was sorry and beg him to take me back but friends all kept telling me it would get better and it did. I was alone for a while, which was good for me, and then I met a man who made me feel like the woman I wanted to be. He made me feel beautiful and loved and powerful. We have lived together for 5 years and we both have our freedom to go where we want and see who we want and l OK be our l oh bed outside of our relationship as well as within it. Please listen to me and the other women on this feed who are telling you that the relationship you are in is emotionally abusive and extremely unhealthy. YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE.

Offline GirlyAbbyGirl6789

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Re: Urgent help please
« Reply #10 on: July 18, 2017, 02:52:54 PM »
He doesn't seem like a good guy. Threatening to break up with you if you go? What does he care! He is the one you made an agreement to go and backed out of it!

Offline Winelover11

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Re: Urgent help please
« Reply #11 on: July 19, 2017, 04:10:13 PM »
I agree with socks, she put it perfectly. He's your boyfriend not your dictator. You need to break up with him maybe take a friend or parent with you as well if you feel unsafe going by yourself.  And you're feeling regret because you're going through a break up, a lot of people feel that way it doesn't mean you should stay with him.