Author Topic: Need Help: Me and BF on different pages  (Read 639 times)

Offline alyssaherren7

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Need Help: Me and BF on different pages
« on: April 18, 2018, 10:13:16 PM »
Im looking for a bunch of different opinions and stories from everyone so if you have the time, please comment back to me! Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 7 months now and when we first started dating, we just clicked. I knew we were meant to be and I cant imagine my life without him in it. We have talked about marriage im the future before and I thought we were on the same page. I talked to him tonight and realized we werent. I told him that I know we couldnt/shouldnt get married tomorrow or anything but I didnt think he should wait until I was out of college. I said that if we were ready in a year or so that he should propose. I told him people get married while they are in college and are still young and make it work. I dont think age has anything to do with it. If you find someone you love and cant live without, then you found the one. He said he didnt want to rush into anything and told me that a lot of people out age date for 3-4 years before they get married. He wanted to wait until I was out of college and had a good job. I just dont see the point in waiting that long if you know thats the person you want to spend forever with. Like if he proposed in Feb of 2019 and we got married the following Nov or so, we would both be 20 and we would have been dating 2 years by then. I just love him and want to start a life with him and want opinions on this topic. Do you think its too young to get married? Should we wait until we are 22 or so?

Offline LinkleBlue

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Re: Need Help: Me and BF on different pages
« Reply #1 on: April 19, 2018, 05:57:11 AM »
Although I agree and respect that everyone's different, i think that the smartest thing to do would be to have a stable job before getting married. Marriage is not only about love. Maybe you aren't clearly looking at all the responsibilities that come with getting married. I don't know your situation either (like how you pay for college or anything) but you'll have to economically independent, each one of you, to make it work. I say, if you really think he's the one, then what's the rush? You're obviously very young, like 18 or 19 from what you say.

Offline flowerpetals

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Re: Need Help: Me and BF on different pages
« Reply #2 on: April 22, 2018, 12:54:30 AM »
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend while we were both still in college and then he graduated last year. We now have a long-distance relationship and while he doesn't want to get married now, he wants us to move in together next year or the year after that. I graduate this year and I was lucky enough to land a full-time job as soon as I graduate. My advice: don't get married now. Make sure you withstand, to be corny, "the tests of time", whether it's fighting over money, living together, etc. so you know who he really is. Also make sure you establish your professional goals after college. Because it's likely that if you get married to him, you'll have to get a job near him and that will narrow down where you wanna go and what you wanna do. Also, if you make a significantly lesser amount of money than him because you don't have a job or don't have a job that pays as well as his, it will be difficult if you guys fight over money. Make sure you are financially independent.

Offline charlotte7

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Re: Need Help: Me and BF on different pages
« Reply #3 on: April 22, 2018, 02:07:23 AM »
I agree with the last two comments as well! I would definitely suggest waiting until you have lived together before getting married as there are so experiences that you will have whilst living together, like sorting out money etc. (In my opinion it’s crazy when people marry before living together)
Just because you aren’t married doesn’t mean you can’t start a life with him, there are plenty of other experiences that you can share before getting married
Like the first comment said, there’s no rush if you guys are in it for the long run :)

Offline alyssaherren7

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Re: Need Help: Me and BF on different pages
« Reply #4 on: September 02, 2018, 10:11:12 PM »
thanks so much yall! i would consider moving in with him but his parents would FREAK! thats why we havent before, so technically we will have to get married before moving in together. i will hopefully land a job as an rn soon, so money issues shouldn’t be a problem! 

Offline Hue

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Re: Need Help: Me and BF on different pages
« Reply #5 on: September 30, 2018, 01:33:58 PM »
I like trying before buying so I’d like to live together before getting married because you see a different person, the real person when you live with them. And I was in a similar position when I was about 17. I had a boyfriend I loved to bits and he wanted to get married. I ran because I knew we were too young. If it was meant to be it would’ve been. Now 8 years later I’m still not married and loving it. I’d say take your time and grow first on your own before putting yourself in a marriage situation.
Be strong