Author Topic: I need some girl time  (Read 388 times)

Offline Hue

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I need some girl time
« on: July 30, 2018, 01:20:57 AM »
Hey ladies.. so I’ve been with this guy for 4 years and we got engaged just over 6 months ago.. anyway I had a long day at work on Saturday(9hours to be exact) and when I came home he was on his PlayStation. So I asked him why he hadn’t done anything towards dinner, he turns, smiles and says “I was waiting for you” Anyway I start getting dinner ready,  he stays in his game and
about 10 minutes later he comes and asks if he can help, to which I said “if you wanted to help you could’ve done something the whole time you were home(which is about 6-7 hours). So he gets angry, walks away and an argument starts. I’ll be honest, I started this one but I felt like he should’ have gotten angry to start with. Then he says to me “you’re lucky I even asked if I could help, I could’ve sat down and let you do everything yourself “ to which I responded “what do you think I am? Your maid??” At this point I yurned everything off and stopped cooking. Anyway the next day I tried explaining to him why I was so upset about it and he didn’t seem to get it, so we just left it at that. That night when I joined him in bed I tried talking but he said he was sleeping. In my head this had dragged on for long enough and I just wanted peace . So I pulled him close and tried to cuddle, to which he responded by fondling my breasts. So I tried stopping him and he got a bit aggressive and just kept going, I had to yank him off me. He then says “sorry I touched you” and looked away with lots of attitude. I was gonna let it go but I couldn’t. So I turned on the lights and asked him if we could talk about what had just happened to which I got no response. Boiling with frustration I got up, took the covers off him and demanded we talk and nothing, no response whatsoever from him. So I tell him it’s very childish what he’s doing and I go to sleep in the other room. I came back after a few minutes and tried to talk, to which I got no response. So out of emotion, anger and desperation I begged him just to wake up, look at me and talk to me and nothing. So I storm out and start packing a bag, but I had to come back to the room to get some shoes. When he saw this that’s when he got up and tried talking to me. So I leave, couldn’t find a hotel in the area and I just came back. I slept in the other room and he was asleep already. He wakes up in the morning, doesn’t say anything, I get up and go to work. So I’m in this really dark place and have no one to talk to
Be strong

Offline Darken12

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Re: I need some girl time
« Reply #1 on: July 30, 2018, 02:56:50 AM »
I think you should try and wait for him to talk to you. The next morning if he doesn’t try talking to him again.
~Darken12

Offline LinkleBlue

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Re: I need some girl time
« Reply #2 on: July 30, 2018, 05:22:07 AM »
All this sounded like a "normal" argument I've heard many couples have, except for the part where he got sexual even if you didn't want to. Has anything similar happened before?

Offline Hue

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Re: I need some girl time
« Reply #3 on: July 30, 2018, 07:48:38 AM »
Yeah he gets upset every time I say no to him. There’s been times I’ve had the word possible day and when he feels like he wants to get sexual, he’ll make an advance. All I need is a hug and he wants sex
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Offline Darken12

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Re: I need some girl time
« Reply #4 on: July 31, 2018, 12:16:32 AM »
That’s so stupid! If you want a hug and he gives you more than that,  he obviously shouldn’t get upset when you tell him to stop. You need to talk to him about that. Are you guys talking again?
~Darken12

Offline LinkleBlue

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Re: I need some girl time
« Reply #5 on: July 31, 2018, 05:24:54 AM »
Yeah he gets upset every time I say no to him. There’s been times I’ve had the word possible day and when he feels like he wants to get sexual, he’ll make an advance. All I need is a hug and he wants sex
I don't think that part of him is normal or acceptable. You've been together for a long time  and up until now it seems he gets upset when you say no but has never forced you (at least from what you write here). I think you should talk to him and if necessary try couple's therapy. I don't know if I'm being too extreme but that overly sexual attitude doesn't seem normal to me. I'm scared it might escalate someday, especially if you two marry!
Also, when he decides he wants to talk and stops being a child, have a serious conversation because what he did that night was the most childish thing ever!

Offline Hue

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Re: I need some girl time
« Reply #6 on: July 31, 2018, 10:43:57 AM »
Darken12 no we’re not talking yet, I haven’t seen him since Monday morning, we don’t live together.
LinkleBlue we’ve been to counselling before and I think you’re right. This time around he has to see what he’s doing is wrong or I’ll have to walk. I got really upset because I grew up in a house where my father was very violent and I know it’s something that happens gradually and I’m not going to wait around for the worst to happen
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