Author Topic: Major Relationship Advice?  (Read 265 times)

Offline miranda1998

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Major Relationship Advice?
« on: September 16, 2018, 11:51:54 PM »
I have been with my boyfriend 3 years now and we live together with our roomate (we’ll call him Ben) as of a year ago. My boyfriend and I don’t get along as much as we used to anymore, and we fight quite a bit. I’ve gotten used to not spending as much time with him since he’s never around and he does his own thing most of the time. (We are both on the lease which is why we haven’t broken up) but we both know it’s coming. Anyway over the past year I’ve become great friends with Ben, we have basically everything in common and recently I’m starting to really like and appreciate him as someone who could be more than a friend. I come downstairs to talk to him whenever I hear him and we end up talking for hours. I’ve tried to drop so many hints, and I think he is aware that my boyfriend and I don’t get along anymore but the thing is we are almost 10 years apart. I’m 20 and Ben is about to be 30. He’s said things to me in the past like “hit me up sometime” which I assume he means whenever my boyfriend and I move apart? But he hasn’t seemed to say anything like that in awhile. I’m so confused and don’t know what to think about it and if it’s weird being so many years apart? I just love how mature and kind he is. I feel like we were meant to meet for a reason? I’d never cheat on my boyfriend though but I have said often to Ben how we get on each other’s nerves and I’m planning to move out soon. I really need advice, I feel like he’s the type of guy to not try to get close to me while I’m still together with someone. But I don’t want to risk moving out, hardly seeing him anymore and then we lose each other even as friends. I truly feel that we have something so unique and that he was supposed to come into my life for a reason. But he never really flirts back which could be because he doesn’t want to get involved since I’m in a relationship? Sorry this was so long if anyone has any thoughts I’d truly appreciate it. Thank you O:-)

Offline MaryKay

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Re: Major Relationship Advice?
« Reply #1 on: September 17, 2018, 08:45:16 AM »
Yup, sounds like he's being a good friend by not being with a girl while she's still in a relationship. That's the right thing.
Always glad to help!

Offline miranda1998

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Re: Major Relationship Advice?
« Reply #2 on: September 20, 2018, 11:20:40 PM »
Yup, sounds like he's being a good friend by not being with a girl while she's still in a relationship. That's the right thing.

Thank you so much

Offline MaryKay

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Re: Major Relationship Advice?
« Reply #3 on: September 21, 2018, 12:16:02 AM »
You're very welcome :)
Always glad to help!

Offline Jfen

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Re: Major Relationship Advice?
« Reply #4 on: September 24, 2018, 09:23:50 AM »
If he is interested, he is probably also stressing about your age... to be honest. 10 years is less of a big deal when you’re at least 25 and 35...
But you shouldn’t stay with your BF just to be close to another guy. You need to do what’s right for you and focus on yourself for a bit.
Do you have Ben’s number? Can you move out, then contact him after you’re gone for awhile? Just get his number, and if it’s meant to be, it will be when the time is right. But take some time to focus on YOU. Good luck!

Offline miranda1998

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Re: Major Relationship Advice?
« Reply #5 on: September 30, 2018, 12:03:22 AM »
Thank you so much for your reply, that’s exactly what I had been thinking as well. When we are a bit older it may make sense? I’ve been trying a lot recently to find my own place and start moving out. It will probably be much easier like you suggested to try and get closer to him once he knows there’s nothing going on with me and my boyfriend anymore. If it’s meant to be I guess I’ll have to wait and find out! Thank you again :)