Author Topic: First time  (Read 1127 times)

Offline Shortie2210

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First time
« on: September 18, 2018, 04:29:48 AM »
Hey guys. I’m 20, and I’ve been seeing this guy, and we’ve been talking about having sex, but I’m a Virgin. and I was going to go for it, and do it, but when we got down to doing it, I couldn’t fit it inside of me and it just was physically really painful, what he did get in, left me feeling a little sore. And now I feel a little embarrassed and upset(??) I guess... How did you guys get through the pain of it? Is there anything I can do to help with that or..? I just need someone to talk to about this.

Offline miranda1998

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Re: First time
« Reply #1 on: September 20, 2018, 11:23:31 PM »
If you’re scared/tense it can be natural to feel that way. Just make sure you feel 100% comfortable with your decision and maybe try more foreplay or lubrication?

Offline Jfen

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Re: First time
« Reply #2 on: September 24, 2018, 09:13:35 AM »
The same thing happened to me many years ago ;) The movies make it look so easy (and even enjoyable) the first time...NOT MY EXPERIENCE!
For me, the guy I was with was definitely on the larger side, and so it maybe took 2-3 times before I could get him inside me, it was very painful for several times after that, and then just painful for a long time after that (and sometimes still can be). Some people are just different, but I was with a partner who was very understanding and whom I trusted implicitly. It’s important to be with someone with whom you’re very comfortable, and who respects you... no reason to be embarrassed!!
As the other poster said, lots of foreplay, try to be very relaxed, lots of lube, and find the position that’s least painful for you. Also think about getting a vibrator to help keep you excited while attempting penetration again. That helps make sex very enjoyable for me now...
Don’t worry, you’re not alone, and it does get easier and better. Just be prepared that it may take time. Xo

Offline Crodrigues1

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Re: First time
« Reply #3 on: October 09, 2018, 09:07:44 AM »
And don’t forget to use protection! :)

Offline Shortie2210

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Re: First time
« Reply #4 on: October 12, 2018, 11:46:04 PM »
Thanks for the advice you guys. In the end we broke it off and decided to be friends instead :) and I’ll just keep it until I feel 100% comfortable with my partner.

Offline Periodstuff

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Re: First time
« Reply #5 on: October 13, 2018, 07:39:47 PM »
Just so you know some girls have a hymen that is really thick and you actually need to get a simple surgery to get it cut.

Do you use tampons? Also have you tried masturbating? As in buying a dildo and stretching it might help

Offline MaryKay

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Re: First time
« Reply #6 on: October 15, 2018, 12:06:13 PM »
Thanks for the advice you guys. In the end we broke it off and decided to be friends instead :) and I’ll just keep it until I feel 100% comfortable with my partner.

I know you said you guys broke it off, but I can finally relate! I had sex for the first time on Thursday, and I swear to God everything you said happened to me! We struggled for a full 15-30 minutes (while laughing the whole time, so it was all good), and it was the most painful thing ever. Then when he did get it in, it hurt for another five minutes then the excruciating pain kinda stopped. I was super sore for two days after that, though. I couldn’t walk right hahahaha.
Always glad to help!

Offline Flowerbomb

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Re: First time
« Reply #7 on: November 28, 2018, 11:46:16 PM »
Just something to bare in mind for the next time. Whoever it is needs to make sure that you're lubricated (wet) before shoving it in, try foreplay, kissing, teasing, oral. Your first experience doesn't have to be that painful. Your mind as well as your body needs to be stimulated and relaxed don't rush, explore each other and enjoy the moment.

Offline MaryKay

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Re: First time
« Reply #8 on: December 04, 2018, 06:39:56 PM »
Just something to bare in mind for the next time. Whoever it is needs to make sure that you're lubricated (wet) before shoving it in, try foreplay, kissing, teasing, oral. You're first experience doesn't have to be that painful. Your mind as well as your body needs to be stimulated and relaxed don't rush, explore each other and enjoy the moment.

I'm not sure about Shortie2210, but as for me, I was wet because of arousal, so that was not the issue. You make it seem like by you saying "You're first experience doesn't have to be that painful" is like we could have avoided it or that it's not normal for some people who have sex for the first time.
Always glad to help!

Offline Flowerbomb

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Re: First time
« Reply #9 on: December 08, 2018, 08:59:01 AM »
Just something to bare in mind for the next time. Whoever it is needs to make sure that you're lubricated (wet) before shoving it in, try foreplay, kissing, teasing, oral. You're first experience doesn't have to be that painful. Your mind as well as your body needs to be stimulated and relaxed don't rush, explore each other and enjoy the moment.


I'm not sure about Shortie2210, but as for me, I was wet because of arousal, so that was not the issue. You make it seem like by you saying "You're first experience doesn't have to be that painful" is like we could have avoided it or that it's not normal for some people who have sex for the first time.

Thank you for replying let me make this clear.
My response is ONLY in reference to shortie2210's experience, and what she said was it was physically painful and sore. Naturally I would suggest lubrication and relaxation, maybe even therapeutic exploration of any trauma she may have suffered in the past and that's if she has.

When I said 'Your first experience doesn't have to be that painful' It's true. I never said she shouldn't feel any pain at all, I'm aware everyone is different. There are methods like i said before that make the process a lot easier, more comfortable and less painful. Also, just because a person is wet doesn't mean they're ready to receive the shaft. Stretching the vaginal walls by fingering first is a great warm-up.

Something is definitely being done wrong if the pain goes on for too long and hurts so much that you have to stop. The pain should subside after a short while then only pleasure and maybe soreness afterwards.