Author Topic: Advice please  (Read 117 times)

Offline LisaH1990

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Advice please
« on: November 21, 2018, 05:59:03 PM »
Hey everyone hope your all well...

So I’m just after a bit advice... I think I might be bisexual, but I’m not entirely sure... I’ve done sexual things with girls while I was younger (teenage years and younger) and kissed quite a few girls and it was really nice, I did enjoy it and it didn’t feel weird or wrong. I’ve also done sexual things with guys and I enjoyed them too. Ive never actually had a relationship with a girl though, only ever with guys. I think guys are hot but I also think some girls are hot too. I just feel so confused about it all, and I’ve got a horrible feeling that everyone will judge me for how I feel. Any advice would be greatly appreciated
Thanks xx

Offline Periodstuff

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Re: Advice please
« Reply #1 on: November 24, 2018, 12:28:21 AM »
Hi. Just so you know you don’t have to “label” or “identify” as anything. It’s up to you if you want to. Sexuality is fluid and people might identify as one thing and later chose to identify in a different way.

The best way I've seen sexuality explained is the "FBI Model"

F - "feelings/fantasies"
B - "behavior"
I  - "identity"

Those 3 things are different and aren't necessarily the same. For example I have feelings and fantasies about women and men (bisexual) but because I'm in a committed relationship my behavior is "straight". I personally like to identify as bisexual (or pansexual) this is who I am proud to say I am and know that I'm attracted to and can be with either.

Another example is there are a lot of girls who have feelings and fantasies that are bisexual (eg enjoy watching lesbian porn) but their behavior and identity is straight. They like the fantasy but it's just that, a fantasy and they have no desire to take it any further.

Another example is some men who sleep with other men (behavior that is homosexual) but they would never identify as gay or even bisexual.

Identity is something you give yourself.

Anyway like I said the 3 can all be the same or some can be different AND it can also change.

Hope this makes things easier to understand.

By what you’ve said it seems to me that you’re bisexual but it’s up to you if you want to identify that way.

Offline Flowerbomb

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Re: Advice please
« Reply #2 on: November 28, 2018, 11:31:16 PM »
You have every right to explore your sexuality, don't be afraid of people judging you, you'll always be judged by someone no matter what you do. All you can do now is take your time to discover yourself, find out exactly what it is you like maybe you are bisexual.

Don't worry about labels, only you can define it for yourself, and once you've decided you should be proud. Secondly, it's okay to change your mind too, you'll grow and learn from experience, nothing is set in stone. Claiming bisexual today is not legally binding lol.

Good luck with your journey! :)