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Author Topic: How many times should you have sex with your partner  (Read 462 times)

Online Chicago.peach

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How many times should you have sex with your partner
« on: November 28, 2018, 02:21:35 PM »
What do you think?  :-X

Offline Periodstuff

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Re: How many times should you have sex with your partner
« Reply #1 on: November 28, 2018, 07:40:21 PM »
I would think if you’ve got time for oral pleasure you’ve got time for sex

Offline Flowerbomb

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Re: How many times should you have sex with your partner
« Reply #2 on: November 28, 2018, 11:19:51 PM »
One or twice a week, is healthy but awfully long and ranty side note:

I only put once or twice because there was no 'whenever you want to' option. I don't think there's such thing as obligation when it comes to sex with your bf/gf. The only thing you 'should' do is WANT to give yourself to them.

If your partner wants sex, (let me know if you disagree with me)they should put in the work to stimulate their partner in the event that thy aren't receptive whether it be tiredness or maybe not in the right head space.
And if the answer is still no, boundaries and consideration! Accepting your partner has other needs over sex is important as is acknowledging your partner does have sexual needs, find middle ground, as we know in a relationship you're still your own person.

Offline LinkleBlue

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Re: How many times should you have sex with your partner
« Reply #3 on: November 29, 2018, 05:37:32 AM »
One or twice a week, is healthy but awfully long and ranty side note:

I only put once or twice because there was no 'whenever you want to' option. I don't think there's such thing as obligation when it comes to sex with your bf/gf. The only thing you 'should' do is WANT to give yourself to them.

If your partner wants sex, (let me know if you disagree with me)they should put in the work to stimulate their partner in the event that thy aren't receptive whether it be tiredness or maybe not in the right head space.
And if the answer is still no, boundaries and consideration! Accepting your partner has other needs over sex is important as is acknowledging your partner does have sexual needs, find middle ground, as we know in a relationship you're still your own person.

Agree 100% with this. I think you probably are feeling pressured because many people say they have sex quite often. Don't mind them as every relationship is different. You just need to have sex as much as you both want to.

Online Chicago.peach

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Re: How many times should you have sex with your partner
« Reply #4 on: December 01, 2018, 05:10:15 AM »
One or twice a week, is healthy but awfully long and ranty side note:

I only put once or twice because there was no 'whenever you want to' option. I don't think there's such thing as obligation when it comes to sex with your bf/gf. The only thing you 'should' do is WANT to give yourself to them.

If your partner wants sex, (let me know if you disagree with me)they should put in the work to stimulate their partner in the event that thy aren't receptive whether it be tiredness or maybe not in the right head space.
And if the answer is still no, boundaries and consideration! Accepting your partner has other needs over sex is important as is acknowledging your partner does have sexual needs, find middle ground, as we know in a relationship you're still your own person.




I often sex every chance I get. However, I was having girl talk with a couple of my friends, and we came across the topic of sex. After listening to their stories, they said sec with their partners have decreased to once or twice every week, or once or twice every month or two. To me, I’ve never had to deal with that problem, unless I was single.


But I find it kinda weird to be on in a relationship with someone, and not really have sex. I try to receive/ five pleasure at any chance I get to get while also giving myself time to heal down there. But I find it easier to know your partners sexual desires, so that you can keep that spark.

Offline LinkleBlue

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Re: How many times should you have sex with your partner
« Reply #5 on: December 01, 2018, 05:59:03 AM »
One or twice a week, is healthy but awfully long and ranty side note:

I only put once or twice because there was no 'whenever you want to' option. I don't think there's such thing as obligation when it comes to sex with your bf/gf. The only thing you 'should' do is WANT to give yourself to them.

If your partner wants sex, (let me know if you disagree with me)they should put in the work to stimulate their partner in the event that thy aren't receptive whether it be tiredness or maybe not in the right head space.
And if the answer is still no, boundaries and consideration! Accepting your partner has other needs over sex is important as is acknowledging your partner does have sexual needs, find middle ground, as we know in a relationship you're still your own person.




I often sex every chance I get. However, I was having girl talk with a couple of my friends, and we came across the topic of sex. After listening to their stories, they said sec with their partners have decreased to once or twice every week, or once or twice every month or two. To me, I’ve never had to deal with that problem, unless I was single.


But I find it kinda weird to be on in a relationship with someone, and not really have sex. I try to receive/ five pleasure at any chance I get to get while also giving myself time to heal down there. But I find it easier to know your partners sexual desires, so that you can keep that spark.

Having sex once or twice a month is not necessarily a problem. Some people are less physical than others. Or find sparks in other things :)

Online Chicago.peach

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Re: How many times should you have sex with your partner
« Reply #6 on: December 01, 2018, 07:32:38 AM »
One or twice a week, is healthy but awfully long and ranty side note:

I only put once or twice because there was no 'whenever you want to' option. I don't think there's such thing as obligation when it comes to sex with your bf/gf. The only thing you 'should' do is WANT to give yourself to them.

If your partner wants sex, (let me know if you disagree with me)they should put in the work to stimulate their partner in the event that thy aren't receptive whether it be tiredness or maybe not in the right head space.
And if the answer is still no, boundaries and consideration! Accepting your partner has other needs over sex is important as is acknowledging your partner does have sexual needs, find middle ground, as we know in a relationship you're still your own person.




I often sex every chance I get. However, I was having girl talk with a couple of my friends, and we came across the topic of sex. After listening to their stories, they said sec with their partners have decreased to once or twice every week, or once or twice every month or two. To me, I’ve never had to deal with that problem, unless I was single.


But I find it kinda weird to be on in a relationship with someone, and not really have sex. I try to receive/ five pleasure at any chance I get to get while also giving myself time to heal down there. But I find it easier to know your partners sexual desires, so that you can keep that spark.

Having sex once or twice a month is not necessarily a problem. Some people are less physical than others. Or find sparks in other things :)


I’m a 21 year old college student. Lol. So for my age group, having sex less often is weird or problematic. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion though....

Offline Periodstuff

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Re: How many times should you have sex with your partner
« Reply #7 on: December 02, 2018, 03:01:32 AM »
I find this poll interesting for a couple of reasons..
I would expect someone to have a poll that asks “how often DO you have sex with your partner” you chose the word “should” that implies something different. That implies not always wanting to and it being an obligation to have sex with your partner. Furthermore you haven’t got a choice for less than a week, like that couldn’t possibly be an option. Another option was “GIVE oral pleasure” there was no option that it would be mutual pleasure, only giving.

Something I also find interesting was that you said less sex is “Problematic and weird” that makes me wonder.
Sure new relationships are exciting and you can’t keep your hands off each other but relationships, ones that are going to last need more than just lust driving them.

Online Chicago.peach

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Re: How many times should you have sex with your partner
« Reply #8 on: December 02, 2018, 05:53:02 AM »
I find this poll interesting for a couple of reasons..
I would expect someone to have a poll that asks “how often DO you have sex with your partner” you chose the word “should” that implies something different. That implies not always wanting to and it being an obligation to have sex with your partner. Furthermore you haven’t got a choice for less than a week, like that couldn’t possibly be an option. Another option was “GIVE oral pleasure” there was no option that it would be mutual pleasure, only giving.

Something I also find interesting was that you said less sex is “Problematic and weird” that makes me wonder.
Sure new relationships are exciting and you can’t keep your hands off each other but relationships, ones that are going to last need more than just lust driving them.

I may not be married, or have had a long lasting relationship yet. But I’ve been in a loving, consistent, sex-driven, spiritual, relationship. This post is “just” general. The answer choices given aren’t meant to be open ended questions. The answer choices given don’t tell a story about my sex life personally, but it gave me an idea to see how other women felt about it. I did say these were general answers that I would hear in my small girl group conversation.

The poll could’ve been diverse, but it’s not meant to discourage anyone who don’t have extravagant sex lives.

Coming from someone who’s been a 3 year relationship. There’s plenty of ways you can satisfy your partner, mentally and physically. Mentally could just be from asking your partner how their day was. Physically could be rubbing your partners shoulders after a long day at work.

Everything is not meant to be taken so literal.

Lighten up a little.

Offline LinkleBlue

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Re: How many times should you have sex with your partner
« Reply #9 on: December 02, 2018, 08:19:31 AM »
In the end PeriodStuff was (imo) kinda concerned about how you approach sex. The way you talked about it in your poll feels like you think it's an obligation instead of an activity you do for fun/love/pleasure. Like you should do it because you're in college and the experience and whatever. Also the way you said "I'm 21 so for my age group it is problematic." I'm actually 23, have been in long lasting relationships and to me, I just don't talk to others about their sex life because then I'd start comparing. With my first one, he did and actually pressured me for a year until I had sex with him (He was my first bf and I was a virgin. Needless to say awful experience ). My second one, is private and doesn't share any details, or gets pressured from anyone. I can assure you my second (and actual) relationship is a lot healthier because of that. We do us and that makes us happy. And truth is I feel that you may be comparing your sex life to others, because you kinda sound just like my ex did back in the days.

In the end, we are (at least I am) just a bit concerned because this poll, although it's meant to be "general" somehow portrays how you think. And I feel you you got defensive when PeriodStuff commented. So that's why we took it literal, too. And we're trying to help here, that's all!

Online Chicago.peach

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Re: How many times should you have sex with your partner
« Reply #10 on: December 02, 2018, 07:40:49 PM »
In the end PeriodStuff was (imo) kinda concerned about how you approach sex. The way you talked about it in your poll feels like you think it's an obligation instead of an activity you do for fun/love/pleasure. Like you should do it because you're in college and the experience and whatever. Also the way you said "I'm 21 so for my age group it is problematic." I'm actually 23, have been in long lasting relationships and to me, I just don't talk to others about their sex life because then I'd start comparing. With my first one, he did and actually pressured me for a year until I had sex with him (He was my first bf and I was a virgin. Needless to say awful experience ). My second one, is private and doesn't share any details, or gets pressured from anyone. I can assure you my second (and actual) relationship is a lot healthier because of that. We do us and that makes us happy. And truth is I feel that you may be comparing your sex life to others, because you kinda sound just like my ex did back in the days.

In the end, we are (at least I am) just a bit concerned because this poll, although it's meant to be "general" somehow portrays how you think. And I feel you you got defensive when PeriodStuff commented. So that's why we took it literal, too. And we're trying to help here, that's all!



Offline MaryKay

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Re: How many times should you have sex with your partner
« Reply #11 on: December 04, 2018, 06:19:12 PM »


I’m a 21 year old college student. Lol. So for my age group, having sex less often is weird or problematic. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion though....



I'm a 19 year old college student and having less sex shouldn't have to do with anything but yourself. I don't even talk about it with anyone and if you find yourself looking at your sex life with scrutiny if it's because you're talking to people about it maybe you shouldn't talk about it. Listen to LinkleBlue because she was right as well.
Always glad to help!

Offline Periodstuff

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Re: How many times should you have sex with your partner
« Reply #12 on: December 04, 2018, 07:20:27 PM »
OP You say the questions aren’t open ended but you also invited us to comment saying “what do you think” and that’s the point isn’t it? To have a discussion, find out the “norm” if there is one?

Whether it was conscious or not you used the word “should” and that makes the discussion different. I think FlowerBomb and LinkleBlue both picked up the subtle difference of your wording too.

Anyway moving along It’s pretty normal to ask others how often they have sex especially if you’re with someone who’s sex drive is different.
If your partner wants it all the time and you don’t you can start to wonder if he’s sex mad or if there’s something wrong with yourself Or if it’s you who wants it more then you start to wonder if you’re the sex mad one or if there’s something wrong with him! (as stereotypically it’s usually the guy who wants it more!)

I remember as a teenager my mum saying something along the lines of “some times you just do it (have sex with your husband) just to make things easier” and at the time I told her “no way I’m not going to have sex if I don’t want to, my partner’s not going to make me!” And the partner I was with at the time never made me feel obliged but in the following relationship I understood what she was talking about, he never “made” me but having sex was less effort than putting up with someone cranky or sulky.
So yeah, When that’s what you’re dealing with you do want to know what’s “fair”. I have a friend who (after 20 plus years of marriage) basically sees sex as another chore. She works in retail all day, runs the household, raises the kids and the hubby wants sex every second day and she’s just exhausted and having sex is, well, just another job to be done.

As for me, My husband is turned on when I am so depending on the time of the month  I can be jumping him every day or second day or I can go a week without.