Cheating

[Flowerbomb]

  Let's have a serious talk. Is cheating really the end of the relationship, or can it be salvaged?

[G123]

Mmm well I was cheated on but it was more a way of him to get out of the relationship instead of bothering to actually say it like a mature person that he wanted to break up. Like he made no effort after I found out about the cheating to try and stay together anyway so no matter how much I wanted the relationship to stay and work (at the time) , I realised now he just didn’t want that at all. I suppose it does depend on how much both people still want the relationship, most of time if someone is cheating they don’t, after what I went through I would now have no tolerance of cheating in any way shape or form. Of course you can try to forgive and mend etc plenty of people have done it but I just don’t see why anyone would waste their time on someone who would do that to you when you could take some time on your own and eventually find someone who wouldn’t dream of it ! That’s just my opinion anyway

[LinkleBlue]

I guess it depends on a lot of things: is if a 10 year relationship? A 10 month relationship? Was it a one time thing or an ongoing side relationship? Did the person confess because they regret or did you find out by yourself?
These are all factors that come together. With time, I think, all relationships reach a crisis of some sort and some people might get confused and make a mistake, but if that happened 1 or 2 years into the relationship to me it'd be unforgivable. Also if the person told me because they regret it I'd probably at least try to work it out (but I don't think I'd be able to) and so on.
Either way, I don't think it's worth the effort to try in most scenarios. There's something that broke between you that will never be there again

[Periodstuff]

The last option in the poll made me laugh   

There’s really not a simple answer. So many things to consider, personally I’m not sure I could get over it.

LinkleBlue would you rather not know? I know I wouldn’t. I mean if it was a mistake or an accident then really the cheater should keep it to themselves and live with the guilt. By telling their partner all it’s doing is is making themselves feel better. I already told my husband I would never want to know BUT I did say I would want to know if other people knew. (Eg a stranger he’s never going to see again VS someone he works with and all the work mates know)

[LinkleBlue]

The last option in the poll made me laugh   

There’s really not a simple answer. So many things to consider, personally I’m not sure I could get over it.

LinkleBlue would you rather not know? I know I wouldn’t. I mean if it was a mistake or an accident then really the cheater should keep it to themselves and live with the guilt. By telling their partner all it’s doing is is making themselves feel better. I already told my husband I would never want to know BUT I did say I would want to know if other people knew. (Eg a stranger he’s never going to see again VS someone he works with and all the work mates know)

I think I'd rather know, actually. I'd like to have all the info and transparency to decide whether I want to continue in the relationship or not. But I understand your POV as well!