Author Topic: Which would you choose?  (Read 338 times)

Offline Steff_88@hotmail.co.uk

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Which would you choose?
« on: December 31, 2018, 05:37:04 AM »
A) stay happyish in a marriage (4years) with 2 young kids (4 and 2) where he does anything he can possibly do and does everything right but you need to force yourself to have sex and close your eyes and imagine someone else and can’t bring yourself to perform any type of oral on him ect. Don’t fancy him and feel no chemistry with. Don’t think there ever was chemistry and it feels like life chose you. You met on a break home when working on cruise ships and he paid of loans and paid for petrol ect. Next took you on holidays then proposed and then got pregnant.

Or

B) choose to chase something with someone else you have incredible chemistry with and always have (met before you met your husband) but paths went different ways (worked together on cruise ships and we got sent to different ones eventually). He still works on ships but has handed in his notice and will be home soon but off to go to Canada in 4 weeks to start a contract until July for the cirque du soleile and whether he would stay if you left your husband is unknown. So potentially be left alone but know You tried!
I just don’t want any regrets and feel I wasted my life or settled.

Offline Periodstuff

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Re: Which would you choose?
« Reply #1 on: January 06, 2019, 03:37:54 AM »
Do you know if the other guy is interested? I mean he might be happy to have an affair but is he willing to stop his plans and look after someone else’s kids?

Offline LinkleBlue

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Re: Which would you choose?
« Reply #2 on: January 06, 2019, 07:17:25 AM »
A) stay happyish in a marriage (4years) with 2 young kids (4 and 2) where he does anything he can possibly do and does everything right but you need to force yourself to have sex and close your eyes and imagine someone else and can’t bring yourself to perform any type of oral on him ect. Don’t fancy him and feel no chemistry with. Don’t think there ever was chemistry and it feels like life chose you. You met on a break home when working on cruise ships and he paid of loans and paid for petrol ect. Next took you on holidays then proposed and then got pregnant.

Or

B) choose to chase something with someone else you have incredible chemistry with and always have (met before you met your husband) but paths went different ways (worked together on cruise ships and we got sent to different ones eventually). He still works on ships but has handed in his notice and will be home soon but off to go to Canada in 4 weeks to start a contract until July for the cirque du soleile and whether he would stay if you left your husband is unknown. So potentially be left alone but know You tried!
I just don’t want any regrets and feel I wasted my life or settled.

Maybe you should try couple's counseling first, or you should have an option C: leave my husband and be alone.
Because leaving him for someone you don't even know is going to be interested or actually good for you and your children is a big decision that I think you should make if you decide to leave your husband individually. Like, if you really don't want to be with him and don't want to try counseling, then leave him, not because someone else is catching your eye, but because you really don't want to be with him.

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Re: Which would you choose?
« Reply #2 on: January 06, 2019, 07:17:25 AM »

Offline AngelaFox

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Re: Which would you choose?
« Reply #3 on: January 06, 2019, 01:26:07 PM »
Throw away good family life for something that mightt not be there is a little bit irresponsible when you hve kids. That lust that you are looking for never lasts forever, burns out quickly and then the chances are that there might be nothing else that will hold that another relationship. Couples and sex therapy would be the first step as you you shouldn’t give up on family that’s good. And if that doesn’t help then and only then can start looking for other solhtions. But therapy will take time and you need to be open and comitted to it. I am also married and we have been through very tough patch where none of us were happy but even at our worst we still wanted to work things through and went to therapy.

Offline MaryKay

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Re: Which would you choose?
« Reply #4 on: January 09, 2019, 04:47:33 AM »
^^^LinkleBlue and AngelaFox
Always glad to help!