There was a girl in the grade below me who committed suicide the week before my birthday. We were in the same dressing room for our school musical. I didn’t even know her that well, but I did know she was really funny. Is it weird that her death still affects me? The first week after her death, I was miserable. I punched my pillow, mattress, and cried a lot. I called those my “bad days”, although that was a serious understatement. As time went on, I felt them less and less. Now it’s time for the new school year, and I’m scared. On the one hand, I want everything to go back to normal so everyone feels better. But on the other hand, I feel like that would be forgetting about her. Some mornings I wake up, she pops into my head, and my day is instantly worse, because then she’s all I can think of. My mom thinks I should’ve moved on by now. I just can’t seem to. Or maybe I’m just being oversensitive. Sorry, I’m probably just rambling, but I just wanted a safe space to say this.
