Period Diary Forum

Other => Entertainment => Topic started by: Edenl14 on April 29, 2012, 11:10:21 PM

Title: Jokes
Post by: Edenl14 on April 29, 2012, 11:10:21 PM
I always want a good joke to tell my friends... Anyone have some favs??? Note: these wont be offense and if someone thinks one is plz telle me or the person***
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Happy is the way on May 04, 2012, 04:10:25 AM
Hey girl! I don't know why no one replied with a joke! Gosh I got none now! Hahaha keep smiling xoxo
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Edenl14 on May 04, 2012, 08:26:49 PM
Lmfao! Well i have one to share tht i made up today (might be stupid)
First we all had Bieber Fever
Next we all had One Direction Infection
Now we all have pinkeye!
( btw pinkeye is going around my school like crazy so i ur in my school, ull Get it) tell me if its stupid or not
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Happy is the way on May 05, 2012, 08:13:45 PM
HAHAHAHA I liked it!!!!!! Haha ..I'm not in your school lol.. I did think it was funny !!!
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Happy is the way on May 06, 2012, 10:33:29 AM
I see your username is Eden .. Are you Jewish ? Couldn't help but ask. My sister is Eden! I'm Rivka Sara
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Edenl14 on May 06, 2012, 04:55:44 PM
No im not jewish lol but im geman, french, sewdish, irish, italian, and prob more lol
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Yourselfisthebest on May 08, 2012, 07:14:36 AM
(I stole this from the big bang theory [SHELDON!! :D ]
Why did the chicken cross the möbius strip?
To get to the same side! * ba doom bang!
* optional but I add it at the end of jokes!
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: gsparkyb99 on May 08, 2012, 02:00:31 PM
Can I ask what pinkeye is? I don't think our skwl has quite caught on yet lol!
Xx
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Edenl14 on May 09, 2012, 06:57:22 PM
^ lmao ok well pinkeye is when the white part of ur eye is pink and its itchy and ucan barely open it.. Its contagous too
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: gsparkyb99 on May 10, 2012, 01:59:10 PM
 Ooowh! Have you had it yet? Nd also wat country is your school in?Xx
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Edenl14 on May 11, 2012, 04:44:29 PM
No but my bfff did
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: RonnieRadkeluv❤ on May 11, 2012, 05:40:32 PM
My bf told me this one

So a teacher handed out gummy lifesavers to all of her students to see if they could guess what flaver it was by the color. They knew red was cherry, green was green apple, and blue was blue razberry.

Then she handed out honey flavored and the students had no clue what it was so the teacher gave them a hint: "the flavor is what your parents call each other sometimes"

Then a girl spit it out and said "HOLY CRAP! Theyre a**holes!!!
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: gsparkyb99 on May 12, 2012, 03:57:45 AM
Haha! That ones good!
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Edenl14 on May 12, 2012, 03:55:53 PM
Ooowh! Have you had it yet? Nd also wat country is your school in?Xx
my school is in the usa
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: gsparkyb99 on May 13, 2012, 03:21:21 AM
Haha, well I dont think were going to get it anytime soon! I live in England lol..Xxx
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Edenl14 on May 14, 2012, 03:40:30 PM
Oh... I feel like a lot of ppl from englan have this app more than americans
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: gsparkyb99 on May 15, 2012, 03:15:13 PM
Really? I feel Like it's more Americans and Aussies!!
Heres one; you might not get it f you don't understand geordie!
A man needed a knee operation but he didnt know so he went to the receptionist at the doctors and she asked why he needed an appointment he said"knee problem" she said"well why do you need an appointment if there's nee problem!!"
Nee means no if you don't know, this may not be funny to a lot of people.Xc
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Edenl14 on May 15, 2012, 10:33:25 PM
Lmfao i get it lol
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: gsparkyb99 on May 16, 2012, 02:38:23 PM
Okay that's good then!
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Pandalicious23 on May 17, 2012, 06:45:43 PM
No im not jewish lol but im geman, french, sewdish, irish, italian, and prob more lol
No way!! I am German, French, Swedish, Irish, Italian, Czechoslovakian, Yugoslavian, Native American, and a tiny bit Scottish!! Like my great grandma was .01% Scottish and 99.99% Native American.
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: SrfGrl on May 22, 2012, 02:15:20 PM
OMG! I thought this app was more an american thing too. I'm actually in Hungary now. I go to school here. But I was born in the US. I still go there. It's a long story how we got here. But anyone want to hear it?
Btw I was born in america, (I already said that) my parents are hungarian, my mom's maiden name is Fuchs which is german. It means fox. So I'm a little german. My family name is Zakar which is arabian, but only my grandpa's step father was arabian.

I don't know any good jokes only lame ones, but here's one that might be good: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A walkie-talkie.

I actually know a lot of good jokes but they're in hunarian and they're not funny if you translate them. :(
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Lala15 on May 30, 2012, 10:34:35 PM
Try this..
One day in class this young boy asked if he could go to the toilet but the teacher said No. And he asked why not? She said you have to say your alphabet first , so he began...
"A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z" the teacher asked wheres your "P"? And he said "Running down my pants" hahahah
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: gsparkyb99 on June 05, 2012, 04:15:36 AM
I heard that one before!Xx
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: RonnieRadkeluv❤ on June 10, 2012, 05:30:45 PM
this one is long but is funny

ok so a teacher handed out gummy life savers to her student to see if they could guess what flavor it is by color. The students guessed green for apple blue for blue raspberry and red for cherry. but when the teacher handed out honey flavored the students were confused so the teacher gave them a hint.she said the flavor is what your parents call each other. then a girl spit out the lifesaver and said OH MY GOSH WERE EATING A**HOLES!
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: SrfGrl on June 11, 2012, 11:49:50 AM
this one is long but is funny

ok so a teacher handed out gummy life savers to her student to see if they could guess what flavor it is by color. The students guessed green for apple blue for blue raspberry and red for cherry. but when the teacher handed out honey flavored the students were confused so the teacher gave them a hint.she said the flavor is what your parents call each other. then a girl spit out the lifesaver and said OH MY GOSH WERE EATING A**HOLES!

LOL! I like that one!
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Valentine14 on June 13, 2012, 12:44:05 AM
Got this one from a movie:
So there is four sister waiting to talk to the father of the church. The first sister goes in there and says "forgive me father for I have sinned." The father asks "what did you do my child?" The sister says "father I saw a mans penis." The father goes " aww that's awful I want to go out there and say ten hale marrys and wash your eyes out with holy water." the sister does as told. The second sister goes in and says " forgive me father for I have sinned" "what did you do?" asks the father. " I touched a mans penis" said the sister. The father says " oh that's even worse than the first one! I want you to go out there as say 20 hale marrys and wash your hands with holy water. The sister goes out to do that when the father comes out and sees the third and forth sisters fighting. " what are you doing you two are sisters why are you fighting?" asks the father the forth sister says " father I don't care what you say I am not gonna wash my mouth out with holy water after she has sat in it!"
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Edenl14 on June 16, 2012, 10:13:47 AM
TY girls. I really like the life saver one too but all of them were good
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: SrfGrl on June 17, 2012, 03:33:18 PM
Got this one from a movie:
So there is four sister waiting to talk to the father of the church. The first sister goes in there and says "forgive me father for I have sinned." The father asks "what did you do my child?" The sister says "father I saw a mans penis." The father goes " aww that's awful I want to go out there and say ten hale marrys and wash your eyes out with holy water." the sister does as told. The second sister goes in and says " forgive me father for I have sinned" "what did you do?" asks the father. " I touched a mans penis" said the sister. The father says " oh that's even worse than the first one! I want you to go out there as say 20 hale marrys and wash your hands with holy water. The sister goes out to do that when the father comes out and sees the third and forth sisters fighting. " what are you doing you two are sisters why are you fighting?" asks the father the forth sister says " father I don't care what you say I am not gonna wash my mouth out with holy water after she has sat in it!"

Oh, my gosh! That's awfull. :P I mean it's funny, but... well... you know what I mean...
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: gsparkyb99 on June 20, 2012, 12:50:38 PM
this one is long but is funny

ok so a teacher handed out gummy life savers to her student to see if they could guess what flavor it is by color. The students guessed green for apple blue for blue raspberry and red for cherry. but when the teacher handed out honey flavored the students were confused so the teacher gave them a hint.she said the flavor is what your parents call each other. then a girl spit out the lifesaver and said OH MY GOSH WERE EATING A**HOLES!
I thought someone already said that on here?? But I love that one it's hilarious!Xxx
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: RunningIris on July 22, 2012, 10:28:37 PM
I have a joke and I came up with it myself ok here's the joke so this lady go to a resterunt and at the resterunt she orders liver on the menu and she asks can I have liver then the food is brought out to her she eats then after she leaves the place she gos to the pool store and buys a pool and she builds a pool and then once the pool is in she sees there liver in the pool she then swims in the pool and when she's in the pool she eats the liver and then what do u call a swimming pool with liver in it a liver pool get it that's my joke
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: RunningIris on July 24, 2012, 11:07:32 PM
I have a joke what do call a swimming pool with liver in it a liver pool that's my joke that I madeup I came up with it
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: KatnissEverdeen on July 25, 2012, 06:47:40 PM
^ lmao ok well pinkeye is when the white part of ur eye is pink and its itchy and ucan barely open it.. Its contagous too
haha, pinkeye is where someone farts in your eye...
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: RunningIris on July 25, 2012, 07:21:35 PM
lol
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: RunningIris on July 25, 2012, 07:24:28 PM
cool I'm half germin half Irish half English and half Italian
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Sundaygaga on July 26, 2012, 03:52:15 AM
This joke is lame but her it goes:

Knock knock

Who's there?

Boo

Boo who?

Sheesh this is only a joke no need to cry !

Bada Be Bada Bo!
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: gsparkyb99 on July 27, 2012, 03:38:45 AM
Ik that one! I dont get the liver one runningirl
Xx
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: RunningIris on July 27, 2012, 02:06:23 PM
oh that's ok I made that one up
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Inwi on August 16, 2012, 06:43:13 PM
So I know one, but I think it's better in my language. So it will probly suck XD here it goes:
What do you get if you mix a vampire and a dwarf?

A tiny vampire that sucks blood out of your toes....

I must admitt that it was rrealy bad in English XD
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: RunningIris on August 16, 2012, 07:08:07 PM
here I have another joke what do call a castle that is new a Newcastle
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Mollie-pop14❤ on August 22, 2012, 06:10:23 PM
(I stole this from the big bang theory [SHELDON!! :D ]
Why did the chicken cross the möbius strip?
To get to the same side! * ba doom bang!
* optional but I add it at the end of jokes!

I love the big bang theory !! Especially sheldon he's hilarious :)
Xxx
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: RunningIris on August 22, 2012, 06:23:06 PM
I'm watching that show write now I like it to and ya Sheldon is funny
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Mollie-pop14❤ on August 22, 2012, 06:28:56 PM
I'm watching that show write now I like it to and ya Sheldon is funny
Kwl haha. Where u from?
Xx
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: RunningIris on August 22, 2012, 08:25:43 PM
ok here's another joke I came up with what do u call a castle that is new a new castle that's my other joke what do u all think
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Veggieandproud on August 23, 2012, 05:01:05 PM
ok here's another joke I came up with what do u call a castle that is new a new castle that's my other joke what do u all think

Are you just copying others jokes cause so far that's all you've said
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Mandy15 on August 23, 2012, 07:32:50 PM
@mollie-pop14 god I love big bang theory. Apparently it's the #1 comedy in the city I live in =D

Hmm a joke ... UUUHHHH ......
**This may be offensive to some people so sorry =L
What's worse than one bee sting ?
Two bee stings
What's worse than two bee stings ?
The holocaust
What's worse than the holocaust ?
Three bee stings

My sister told me this xP
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: RunningIris on August 23, 2012, 08:36:23 PM
cool everyone that go to view my YouTube page and Chanel on there is usuly from England
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Liveyourlife on August 28, 2012, 03:35:53 AM
Haha I got one!!!
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it!! :D
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Candlelight on October 22, 2012, 10:06:19 AM
This is ok if u get it but it works better in written than spoken:

'there's 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't.'
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: RunningIris on October 22, 2012, 12:09:00 PM
I have another funny joke what do u call a small pool that is a spa a jaquize
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Briannababy on October 25, 2012, 06:55:17 PM
If ur a Canadian in the kitchen, and American in the living room, what are u in the bathroom?
European!
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Dark.fairy.angel on November 14, 2012, 05:56:15 PM
cool I'm half germin half Irish half English and half Italian

I don't mean to be rude but wouldn't you be quarter of all those things not half ?x cause you can't be 200%
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: RunningIris on November 14, 2012, 06:27:40 PM
idk and that's ok
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Cait_Horan on December 03, 2012, 06:32:20 AM
^ lmao ok well pinkeye is when the white part of ur eye is pink and its itchy and ucan barely open it.. Its contagous too
haha, pinkeye is where someone farts in your eye...
omg that cracked me up
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: RunningIris on December 03, 2012, 07:38:09 PM
I'm from NJ but live in Pa what about u were are u from
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Crissyx3 on December 04, 2012, 01:53:06 AM
Reviving this section because I can't help myself from laughing at this joke I know.

What concert is 45 cents?!

50Cent featuring Nickelback!
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: EmmieIsMe on January 23, 2013, 08:59:46 PM
Quote from: KatnissEverdeenlink=topic=47412.msg185961#msg185961 date=1343260060
^ lmao ok well pinkeye is when the white part of ur eye is pink and its itchy and ucan barely open it.. Its contagous too
haha, pinkeye is where someone farts in your eye...
My mum told me that pinkeye is when you get shit in your eye (excuse the language but that's what she said)
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: RunningIris on January 24, 2013, 12:09:07 PM
no no I wouldn't copy others jokes I'm just coming up with my own jokes
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: cdefranco on February 21, 2013, 11:51:42 PM
Ok, here's one I didn't make up, my friend shared it with me:

A young boy went to his father one day and said, "Dad, where did people originate?" His father smiled and said, "Well, God created a man named Adam and a woman named Eve. They had children and their children had children and here we are." The boy still didn't understand very well. He went to his mother and said, "Mom, where did people come from?" She said, "We evoluted. First, humans were gorillas. Then, some of the gorillas went through changes and then they turned into people." The boy became even more confused. So he went to his father and said, "Why did mom tell me we come from gorillas and you said we come from Adam and Eve?" His father said, "I'm telling you my side of the family's story and your mother is telling you hers."

Hehe, okay, corny, I know. Here's one more:

A taco ran into his friend who was a nacho. The nacho seemed mad. The taco asked the nacho what was wrong and the nacho wouldn't answer. So, the taco said, "Don't you wanna taco bout it?" and the nacho got madder and said, "No! I'm nacho friend anymore!" and he left.
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: JTK123 on March 03, 2013, 10:51:37 AM
This is an anti joke so some people might not find it funny :P

Why did Sarah fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms

Knock knock
Who's there?
Not Sarah

:P haha here's another one:

A scientist walks into a bar and says to the bartender: can I please have some H2O, so the bartender gives him a glass of water. Another guy walks in, and says to the bartender: mm that looks good, ill have some H2O too. He dies.

If you didn't get it H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide and is poisonous :P

Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Elisabeth B. on April 04, 2013, 08:23:14 PM
Lol you guys have great jokes!
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Love_ya12 on April 05, 2013, 08:30:19 PM
Okay here is one; why did the cookie go to the doctor? Answer: he was feeling a little crummy!! 2nd joke; what do u get after an earthquake with a cow? Answer: a mile shake!!
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: blind_bandit on May 31, 2013, 08:26:44 PM
Justin Bieber just got 100,000 retweets for tweeting "Live life full." That's just three random words! I'm going to try it now.

Tongue squirrel ham.

~blind_bandit
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: SavannahLynn on June 09, 2013, 02:20:01 AM
Ok, so there is a guy washing his car REALLY WELL, and there is a bird up on a wire who says " I will wait" later the guy comes back and sees the giant pile of bird poo so he says "HOLY CRAP!!"

I know, really bad joke
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: HDancer on June 14, 2013, 06:39:13 PM
Joke number one: what did the rich man say when he drove his expensive knew car into a tree???
Answer:that's how a Mercedes Benz!!!!!
Joke number two: what do you call a pasta impersonator??
Answer:an IMPASTA!!!!!
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Marchingpillows on June 30, 2013, 01:44:57 AM
I know a few jokes. Uhh... Let's see. If a red house is made out of red bricks, a yellow house out of yellow bricks and a blue one out of blue bricks, what's a green one made out of??   Glass. XD!

What bird works in construction? A crane?!!! XD!!
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Rudianny on August 06, 2013, 04:08:30 PM
Hey
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Periodstuff on September 14, 2013, 11:11:23 AM
What do you do if a bird shits on your car?

Don't take her out again. ;-)
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Oprah77 on September 18, 2013, 11:10:21 AM
Guess who's dead? Jam and bread. Where did he got buried? In my belly. Where he passed? Through my a$$. Lol might be lame... But ya! Lol
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Periodstuff on September 19, 2013, 10:02:26 AM
A man was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him.
The doctor described the condition as stable.
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Periodstuff on September 19, 2013, 10:07:46 AM
A man was walking in the bush and he came across a suitcase with a family of possums in it. He rung the vet for help.
The vet asked "are they moving"? And the man said "well that would explain the suitcase"
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Periodpro on November 02, 2013, 01:37:21 PM
Girls are like KFC.

Once your done with the thighs legs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy bucket to put your bone in.
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: ForeverRockstar on November 23, 2013, 01:25:19 AM
I see your username is Eden .. Are you Jewish ? Couldn't help but ask. My sister is Eden! I'm Rivka Sara
Hey. Im Jewish :)
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Cookie88 on November 27, 2013, 01:43:33 AM
A young man goes to his grand parents farm, he is amazed at al the animals being a city guy and all.
The next morning his Grandma and grandpa come down to see their grand son drinking a huge glass if milk.
"Where did you get the milk from jimmy?"
" I got it from your cow! She was pretty hard to milk but once I pulled on her she just gave me all this milk!"
"Umm.. Son.." Says grandad.
"We have a bull, not a cow"
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Ashlee20051012 on March 18, 2014, 12:00:02 PM
What did the bird say when his cage fell apart?

Cheap cheap
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Tabbycat1511 on March 20, 2014, 06:25:11 AM
Lol cookie88 that's a good one.
I know one like that but I'm not going to say it because its rude.
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Lovemybæ23 on April 12, 2014, 05:08:21 PM
Okay it might be stupid but I still crack up every time so there are three men poop, shut up, and manners they all drive until stopped by a police officer and then they drive and park but poop fell out of the car so shut up is going to talk to the police officer and he asks "what is your name?" Shut up says " shut up" he asks again "what is your name?!" Shut up says " shut up" the officer asks "where are your manners?!" Shut up answers "over there picking up poop." Lol I crack up still.
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Tabbycat1511 on April 14, 2014, 04:56:49 AM
Lo I've heard that one but without the poop bit.
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Artprincess314 on April 21, 2014, 02:46:02 PM
I always want a good joke to tell my friends... Anyone have some favs??? Note: these wont be offense and if someone thinks one is plz telle me or the person***
Ok :) I got this one from Funny2.com:
A store that sells new husbands has just opened. You may visit the store only once! There are six floors and you can pick a husband from any floor. Once you go up a floor, you cannot come down except to exit the building. So a woman goes to the husband store....
Each floor has a sign that reads:
Floor1: These men have jobs
Floor2: These men have jobs and love kids.
Floor3: These men have jobs, love kids, and are very good looking. Wow she thinks, but she is compelled to go on.
Floor4: These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking, and help with housework. "I can hardly stand it!" she exclaims. Still she goes to the fifth floor.
Floor5: These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with housework, and have a romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay but she still goes on and the sign reads...
Floor6: You are visitor 3,261,496,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor; this floor exists solely as proof that woman are impossible to please. Thank You for shopping at the husband store!
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Artprincess314 on April 21, 2014, 02:55:28 PM
I always want a good joke to tell my friends... Anyone have some favs??? Note: these wont be offense and if someone thinks one is plz telle me or the person***
Ok, here's some more:
A carpet installer finished up a big job and decided to go outside for a smoke. He searched his pockets and not finding his usual pack of cigarettes began to look around. A lump under the carpet caught his attention. Not wanting to remove and reinstall such a large carpet, he took a mallet and carefully pounded down the lump, smoothing it out with his hands until it was perfectly flat. Satisfied that the job was well done, he gathered up his tools only to find his cigarettes in the lid of his tool box.
He was examining them when the woman of the house walks in and said, "The carpets look great. By the way, have you seen my canary?"

LOL :) here's another one

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a 20 dollar bill fell out onto the path.
Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are 20 dollar bills falling out of that bag." "Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me, officer."
"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"
"Oh, no," said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a golf course. A lot of golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, I would make the best of it? So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time a guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me 20, or off it comes.'"
"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Not everybody pays."

There's a lot more funny stuff on Funny2.com
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Kitkat2 on November 04, 2014, 05:48:53 AM
What do you call a box of ducks??
A box Of quackers
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Flurtatios❤️❤️ on June 18, 2015, 03:27:33 PM
So three girls were planning there next expedition in nasa. There was a blond, a brunet , and a redhead. The brunet said we should go to the moon. The redhead said we should go to Mars. The redhead and brunet started fighting. Then the blond said Waite Waite Wait I have the perfect place to go. We should go to the SUN!! The brunet and deadhead looked at each other and said we can't go to the sun we'd die. The blond said    Not if we go at night DUH!!!

My friend made it up. The sad thing is she's a blond! :-)
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Puppylover287 on July 15, 2015, 04:44:16 PM
This is stupid but
You
Only
Live
Once
          Right?
Wrong! U live every day u only die once
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Lunchbox7 on July 26, 2015, 09:29:54 AM
Sorry if this is offensive to anyone.         
Jo mommas so fat when she got a flesh eating virus the doctors said she had at least 10 years
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Pixie_stixx on July 26, 2015, 11:31:39 AM
I have a joke and I came up with it myself ok here's the joke so this lady go to a resterunt and at the resterunt she orders liver on the menu and she asks can I have liver then the food is brought out to her she eats then after she leaves the place she gos to the pool store and buys a pool and she builds a pool and then once the pool is in she sees there liver in the pool she then swims in the pool and when she's in the pool she eats the liver and then what do u call a swimming pool with liver in it a liver pool get it that's my joke

That's a looong ass joke, maybe take away the bit about the resturant,
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Lunchbox7 on July 26, 2015, 01:40:28 PM
And ur longgg ass late
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Pixie_stixx on July 26, 2015, 01:45:39 PM
Stop butting in gheeeze u do love sticking ur big ugly old man nose into other people's business don't u
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Socks33 on July 26, 2015, 02:41:36 PM
Ino a great joke. Teen girls having unprotected sex and worrying after they do it

Another joke. The pull out method

Here's one last one. Teens lashing out then trying to play the victims.
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Pixie_stixx on July 26, 2015, 02:47:12 PM
I have an even better one socks, here it goes: what do u call uneducated teen girls who think they can get pregnant by simply looking at a penis or going near a boner?
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Socks33 on July 26, 2015, 03:06:52 PM
Idk what do you call them?
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Pixie_stixx on July 26, 2015, 03:31:48 PM
Freaken idiots! lol


I hadn't really thought of an answer tbh it kind of ended up being more of a rhetorical question lol!
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Ilovemyself on March 15, 2016, 05:57:47 AM
Why are bananas yellow?
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Marimartinez1704 on July 06, 2016, 12:08:20 PM
Why
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: belleCorgi01 on July 10, 2016, 05:39:17 AM
Oh haha.... :/
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Kitkat9518 on September 29, 2016, 01:16:48 PM
If you were born in September your parents started the year with a BANG. LOL LOL LOL my bf taught me this one I find it its sooo funny LOL
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: belleCorgi01 on September 29, 2016, 06:49:36 PM
^ it makes NO sense dumbo.
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: kiragrace on September 29, 2016, 06:55:19 PM
I get it lol.
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: belleCorgi01 on September 29, 2016, 06:57:06 PM
^ please, enlighten me! Hmmm?
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: kiragrace on September 29, 2016, 07:01:12 PM
If you were born in September it means you were conceived in January (babies are usually born in 9 months and September is the 9th month) which pretty much means your parents were having sex on New Years, welcoming the year with a "bang". Lol.
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: belleCorgi01 on September 29, 2016, 07:20:46 PM
Yeah, I got the nine month thing. But its so stupid and childish.
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: nlucca01 on September 29, 2016, 11:04:34 PM
Each to their own
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Kitkat9518 on October 03, 2016, 05:05:41 AM
Hi
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Kitkat9518 on October 03, 2016, 05:07:26 AM
If you were born 9months from your parents birthday yours were birthday sex lol lol lol my bf taught me this one to also if you where born in October you were Valentine's Day sex LOL
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: XCharlieX on October 03, 2016, 06:21:13 AM
Wow. Your imaginary bf can count ? Get that boy a sticker. 
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Horselover1202 on October 03, 2016, 06:36:36 AM
It's not even a joke lol they're just facts
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: belleCorgi01 on October 04, 2016, 02:18:48 AM
^ r u sure? Lol
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Horselover1202 on October 04, 2016, 06:50:55 AM
Yeah, she's actually telling the truth about these ones although it's stupid. Something anyone could figure out really
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Usernameanoymus on October 18, 2016, 07:26:28 PM
Ik it's very bad but if your desperate..

What lives more than a cat that has 9 lives ?

A frog it croaks every night



Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: ALLHAILTHEMIGHTYGLOWCLOUD on December 12, 2016, 08:36:18 PM
Why did sally fall off the swing
Because she had no arms
Knock knock
Who's there
Not sally
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: ThatEmoKat on April 17, 2017, 11:28:41 PM
My bf told me this one

So a teacher handed out gummy lifesavers to all of her students to see if they could guess what flaver it was by the color. They knew red was cherry, green was green apple, and blue was blue razberry.

Then she handed out honey flavored and the students had no clue what it was so the teacher gave them a hint: "the flavor is what your parents call each other sometimes"

Then a girl spit it out and said "HOLY CRAP! Theyre a**holes!!!

I laughed way too hard at this
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Darken12 on May 06, 2018, 01:39:30 AM
Aww, this is about a year late but, when I got my period I started crying. My mum told me to shush, and I said “ sorry, I ovary-acted.
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: AnimeIsMyMiddleName on May 06, 2018, 04:30:44 PM
Aww, this is about a year late but, when I got my period I started crying. My mum told me to shush, and I said “ sorry, I ovary-acted.

That’s so bad it’s actually good..
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Darken12 on May 07, 2018, 02:51:44 AM
Aww, this is about a year late but, when I got my period I started crying. My mum told me to shush, and I said “ sorry, I ovary-acted.

That’s so bad it’s actually good..
I know right?!   :))
Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: catandbook2 on January 06, 2019, 07:58:12 PM
The worst dad joke...

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, no atmosphere.