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« on: December 04, 2018, 07:20:27 PM »
OP You say the questions aren’t open ended but you also invited us to comment saying “what do you think” and that’s the point isn’t it? To have a discussion, find out the “norm” if there is one?
Whether it was conscious or not you used the word “should” and that makes the discussion different. I think FlowerBomb and LinkleBlue both picked up the subtle difference of your wording too.
Anyway moving along It’s pretty normal to ask others how often they have sex especially if you’re with someone who’s sex drive is different.
If your partner wants it all the time and you don’t you can start to wonder if he’s sex mad or if there’s something wrong with yourself Or if it’s you who wants it more then you start to wonder if you’re the sex mad one or if there’s something wrong with him! (as stereotypically it’s usually the guy who wants it more!)
I remember as a teenager my mum saying something along the lines of “some times you just do it (have sex with your husband) just to make things easier” and at the time I told her “no way I’m not going to have sex if I don’t want to, my partner’s not going to make me!” And the partner I was with at the time never made me feel obliged but in the following relationship I understood what she was talking about, he never “made” me but having sex was less effort than putting up with someone cranky or sulky.
So yeah, When that’s what you’re dealing with you do want to know what’s “fair”. I have a friend who (after 20 plus years of marriage) basically sees sex as another chore. She works in retail all day, runs the household, raises the kids and the hubby wants sex every second day and she’s just exhausted and having sex is, well, just another job to be done.
As for me, My husband is turned on when I am so depending on the time of the month I can be jumping him every day or second day or I can go a week without.