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Messages - Periodstuff

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1
Relationships / Re: Cheating
« on: December 05, 2018, 11:18:13 AM »
The last option in the poll made me laugh   :)

There’s really not a simple answer. So many things to consider, personally I’m not sure I could get over it.

LinkleBlue would you rather not know? I know I wouldn’t. I mean if it was a mistake or an accident then really the cheater should keep it to themselves and live with the guilt. By telling their partner all it’s doing is is making themselves feel better. I already told my husband I would never want to know BUT I did say I would want to know if other people knew. (Eg a stranger he’s never going to see again VS someone he works with and all the work mates know)

2
Relationships / Re: How many times should you have sex with your partner
« on: December 04, 2018, 07:20:27 PM »
OP You say the questions aren’t open ended but you also invited us to comment saying “what do you think” and that’s the point isn’t it? To have a discussion, find out the “norm” if there is one?

Whether it was conscious or not you used the word “should” and that makes the discussion different. I think FlowerBomb and LinkleBlue both picked up the subtle difference of your wording too.

Anyway moving along It’s pretty normal to ask others how often they have sex especially if you’re with someone who’s sex drive is different.
If your partner wants it all the time and you don’t you can start to wonder if he’s sex mad or if there’s something wrong with yourself Or if it’s you who wants it more then you start to wonder if you’re the sex mad one or if there’s something wrong with him! (as stereotypically it’s usually the guy who wants it more!)

I remember as a teenager my mum saying something along the lines of “some times you just do it (have sex with your husband) just to make things easier” and at the time I told her “no way I’m not going to have sex if I don’t want to, my partner’s not going to make me!” And the partner I was with at the time never made me feel obliged but in the following relationship I understood what she was talking about, he never “made” me but having sex was less effort than putting up with someone cranky or sulky.
So yeah, When that’s what you’re dealing with you do want to know what’s “fair”. I have a friend who (after 20 plus years of marriage) basically sees sex as another chore. She works in retail all day, runs the household, raises the kids and the hubby wants sex every second day and she’s just exhausted and having sex is, well, just another job to be done.

As for me, My husband is turned on when I am so depending on the time of the month  I can be jumping him every day or second day or I can go a week without.

3
Relationships / Re: How many times should you have sex with your partner
« on: December 02, 2018, 03:01:32 AM »
I find this poll interesting for a couple of reasons..
I would expect someone to have a poll that asks “how often DO you have sex with your partner” you chose the word “should” that implies something different. That implies not always wanting to and it being an obligation to have sex with your partner. Furthermore you haven’t got a choice for less than a week, like that couldn’t possibly be an option. Another option was “GIVE oral pleasure” there was no option that it would be mutual pleasure, only giving.

Something I also find interesting was that you said less sex is “Problematic and weird” that makes me wonder.
Sure new relationships are exciting and you can’t keep your hands off each other but relationships, ones that are going to last need more than just lust driving them.

4
Relationships / Re: Addiction 18+ Replies Please
« on: November 29, 2018, 09:32:25 AM »
You mentioned that you are starting to seek out different types of porn, that’s common with porn addiction (any addiction) you’re craving that high and it works for a while but then you need “more”, more often and more shocking. I can imagine it’s good while it’s happening but after you feel guilty.

It’s not unusual you’re not responding sexually to your partner. You have an addiction and you have mastered making yourself orgasm. Orgasming to porn, a lot of it and to more demanding content.

You need to think of it like a drug or alcohol addiction. Being exposed to a lot of something you build up a tolerance, give someone else that same amount of drug and they’d die! Actually that’s exactly what can happen. Drug addicts have been known to go into rehab get clean, come out and shoot up the same amount as they used to and it kills them. They don’t have the same tolerance, had they had less they would’ve been ok (though as I mentioned before soon you need more and more often)

The point is it’s normal. Hang in there and you will get your sensations back you can learn to get pleasure with your partner it will just take time.

Also take the pressure off him and you and just accept that you probably won’t orgasm for a while. Enjoy the process rather than the finish line. Once the pressure is off trying to orgasm every one can relax and it will probably naturally happen.

5
Relationships / Re: Addiction 18+ Replies Please
« on: November 29, 2018, 09:09:13 AM »
Unfortunately a lot of people are exposed to porn these days. It’s a shame because it gives an unrealistic idea of what sex is really like. Particularly how easy it is for a women to orgasm. Also what types of sexual acts people do. The statistics on women having anal sex has increased dramatically and it’s suggested that it’s because of the frequency it’s seen in porn. Also more degrading acts such as a man climaxing on a women’s face is common place in porn but in real life I can’t image that many couples would have this as a regular part of love making.
I can understand how you would think you needed to act like the girls you see in porn. Plenty of girls have felt the same. I hope you now realize that you don’t have to “act” and that just enjoying the moment and being your authentic self can help you to be more in tune with your partner and your own body. 

6
Relationships / Re: Addiction 18+ Replies Please
« on: November 29, 2018, 08:55:47 AM »
Hearing you were exposed to pornography at such a young age also brings up questions for me. It’s illegal to expose a child to porn and is child abuse. so I do wonder how that came about and how it was allowed to continue.
*I don’t expect you to answer* I’m just mentioning it because usually if a child is exposed to something like that it’s often part of sexual abuse or grooming or perhaps neglect and those might be some more issues that you might want to work through with a therapist

7
Relationships / Re: Addiction 18+ Replies Please
« on: November 29, 2018, 08:48:37 AM »
Yes therapy would be a good idea and the first step is admitting you have a problem and you’ve recognized that so that’s great. Also congratulations on going without it for three weeks! That’s amazing and you should be proud! With any addictions you are likely to relapse, it sucks but it’s true I’m telling you so if (when) it does happen don’t give up! You need to Understand that it’s part of the process, don’t give yourself too much of a hard time just “get back on the horse” and keep trying.

8
Relationships / Re: How many times should you have sex with your partner
« on: November 28, 2018, 07:40:21 PM »
I would think if you’ve got time for oral pleasure you’ve got time for sex

9
Periods / Re: Missed period
« on: November 24, 2018, 05:36:07 AM »
Everyone at some stage has a late or missed period. It can be from a number of things, change of diet, routine, exercise, stress etc. it’s really nothing to worry about at this stage and the doctor won’t do anything

10
Relationships / Re: Advice please
« on: November 24, 2018, 12:28:21 AM »
Hi. Just so you know you don’t have to “label” or “identify” as anything. It’s up to you if you want to. Sexuality is fluid and people might identify as one thing and later chose to identify in a different way.

The best way I've seen sexuality explained is the "FBI Model"

F - "feelings/fantasies"
B - "behavior"
I  - "identity"

Those 3 things are different and aren't necessarily the same. For example I have feelings and fantasies about women and men (bisexual) but because I'm in a committed relationship my behavior is "straight". I personally like to identify as bisexual (or pansexual) this is who I am proud to say I am and know that I'm attracted to and can be with either.

Another example is there are a lot of girls who have feelings and fantasies that are bisexual (eg enjoy watching lesbian porn) but their behavior and identity is straight. They like the fantasy but it's just that, a fantasy and they have no desire to take it any further.

Another example is some men who sleep with other men (behavior that is homosexual) but they would never identify as gay or even bisexual.

Identity is something you give yourself.

Anyway like I said the 3 can all be the same or some can be different AND it can also change.

Hope this makes things easier to understand.

By what you’ve said it seems to me that you’re bisexual but it’s up to you if you want to identify that way.

11
Just for teens / Re: Relationship and sex?
« on: November 24, 2018, 12:01:56 AM »
Just a reminder that the age of consent (the age you’re legally allowed to have sex) is 16 in Australia so ideally holding off for a while would be better.
Sex is good but it takes practice and time. At this point you don’t have a lot of time together, for most girls their first time hurts and is a bit of a letdown.

12
Periods / Re: Late period?!
« on: November 23, 2018, 11:44:02 PM »
Did you get birth control? Have you started it?

13
Just for teens / Re: Tenderness
« on: November 23, 2018, 11:40:07 PM »
You’re 14 so you’re still going through puberty and your body is still growing so that’s probably what it is

14
Just for teens / Re: Relationship and sex?
« on: November 18, 2018, 06:49:11 PM »
So you don’t actually live near each other and never see each other?

15
Periods / Re: Longer than normal period!
« on: November 17, 2018, 09:48:36 AM »
Have you continued taking your pill as normal?

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