I feel you!
Well although I had a "first time" I was pressured for about a year by my former partner, until I gave up waiting to feel ready and decided to do it to shut him up, claiming to myself that I was ready. It was an awful decision, obviously!
With this I want to say, even if I cannot provide a helpful first time story (mine was definitely not a "normal" one and I don't want to tell you about it and give you wrong ideas). I want to reassure you to never feel pressured to do it. Now, in my early twenties and with another partner (we've been together for almost 2 years) I have no pressure of doing that, ans I still don't feel ready (the same fears you have, plus I'm not economically ready, if an accident happened, to have a baby). I'm also catholic, and was raised very religiously so I have all those desires of waiting for the right man, maybe waiting until marriage, guilt, etc...
my advice is to keep waiting until you feel ready, I'm glad you have an understanding partner. and PS: cum is kinda disgusting! Hahhaaha

The last option in the poll made me laugh   

There’s really not a simple answer. So many things to consider, personally I’m not sure I could get over it.

LinkleBlue would you rather not know? I know I wouldn’t. I mean if it was a mistake or an accident then really the cheater should keep it to themselves and live with the guilt. By telling their partner all it’s doing is is making themselves feel better. I already told my husband I would never want to know BUT I did say I would want to know if other people knew. (Eg a stranger he’s never going to see again VS someone he works with and all the work mates know)

I think I'd rather know, actually. I'd like to have all the info and transparency to decide whether I want to continue in the relationship or not. But I understand your POV as well!

In the end PeriodStuff was (imo) kinda concerned about how you approach sex. The way you talked about it in your poll feels like you think it's an obligation instead of an activity you do for fun/love/pleasure. Like you should do it because you're in college and the experience and whatever. Also the way you said "I'm 21 so for my age group it is problematic." I'm actually 23, have been in long lasting relationships and to me, I just don't talk to others about their sex life because then I'd start comparing. With my first one, he did and actually pressured me for a year until I had sex with him (He was my first bf and I was a virgin. Needless to say awful experience ). My second one, is private and doesn't share any details, or gets pressured from anyone. I can assure you my second (and actual) relationship is a lot healthier because of that. We do us and that makes us happy. And truth is I feel that you may be comparing your sex life to others, because you kinda sound just like my ex did back in the days.

In the end, we are (at least I am) just a bit concerned because this poll, although it's meant to be "general" somehow portrays how you think. And I feel you you got defensive when PeriodStuff commented. So that's why we took it literal, too. And we're trying to help here, that's all!

Thanks so much for that reply ! Funny and coincidental that just when I reached out about this topic seen as I was kind of ready to meet someone new, I met a guy on a night out a few days ago. He was so nice and was really good fun and what I liked most was that he didn’t even try to kiss me ( I don’t like it when guys are automatically thinking about that straight away instead of like appreciating who you are ) so we were both staying in the same house that night I stayed in with my friend and he Stayed in another room on his own. He also gave me his jacket on the night out going home and the next morning going to the bus which I thought was so nice. And we’ve been talking since. Anyone that I mention him to are all like omg he’s so nice all nice positive things about him ! It’s mad early days but I really think he’s my type which I’m excited about

That's so cool!!! Keeps us informed!

Best of lucks with this process!!

One or twice a week, is healthy but awfully long and ranty side note:

I only put once or twice because there was no 'whenever you want to' option. I don't think there's such thing as obligation when it comes to sex with your bf/gf. The only thing you 'should' do is WANT to give yourself to them.

If your partner wants sex, (let me know if you disagree with me)they should put in the work to stimulate their partner in the event that thy aren't receptive whether it be tiredness or maybe not in the right head space.
And if the answer is still no, boundaries and consideration! Accepting your partner has other needs over sex is important as is acknowledging your partner does have sexual needs, find middle ground, as we know in a relationship you're still your own person.

Agree 100% with this. I think you probably are feeling pressured because many people say they have sex quite often. Don't mind them as every relationship is different. You just need to have sex as much as you both want to.

Maybe, maybe not. We'd need to know the reasons behind your thinking that he's cheating and that you guys will break up. Why do you think that?

I would try insisting one more time. But it works better for a discussion if, instead of saying "You compare me to my brothers " saying "I feel I'm being compared, even if you don't do it on purpose and it hurts". It's like putting it from your perspective, from what you feel instead of telling her what she does.
now in this case I'd also recommend you tell her shortly after she does it, so her memory is fresh from her commentary, and see how she reacts then.