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Messages - Flowerbomb

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Other / What can I do to prepare for an abortion?
« on: December 10, 2018, 07:12:35 PM »
I'd be grateful for a response.
I have plenty reason to believe that i am pregnant, I've taken two tests but I definitely took them too early. I have been experiencing light pink discharge, thick, white and sticky discharge and light cramping which if my research is correct is common and normal signs of early pregnancy. Myself and my partner have already discussed whether this is an option we both mutually agreed that this is not something we're ready for. (I'm also not some scared teenager it's a level headed decision) I won't consider adoption because I couldn't live knowing my child is out there somewhere without their biological parents. I'd rather terminate asap than go into this knowing I'll be unhappy, I want the best for my future kids and I can't provide that now. Is there anything I can do to prepare myself I know its not easy, but I am very willing to accept the consequences.

Thank you in advance.

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Relationships / Re: First time
« on: December 08, 2018, 08:59:01 AM »
Just something to bare in mind for the next time. Whoever it is needs to make sure that you're lubricated (wet) before shoving it in, try foreplay, kissing, teasing, oral. You're first experience doesn't have to be that painful. Your mind as well as your body needs to be stimulated and relaxed don't rush, explore each other and enjoy the moment.


I'm not sure about Shortie2210, but as for me, I was wet because of arousal, so that was not the issue. You make it seem like by you saying "You're first experience doesn't have to be that painful" is like we could have avoided it or that it's not normal for some people who have sex for the first time.

Thank you for replying let me make this clear.
My response is ONLY in reference to shortie2210's experience, and what she said was it was physically painful and sore. Naturally I would suggest lubrication and relaxation, maybe even therapeutic exploration of any trauma she may have suffered in the past and that's if she has.

When I said 'Your first experience doesn't have to be that painful' It's true. I never said she shouldn't feel any pain at all, I'm aware everyone is different. There are methods like i said before that make the process a lot easier, more comfortable and less painful. Also, just because a person is wet doesn't mean they're ready to receive the shaft. Stretching the vaginal walls by fingering first is a great warm-up.

Something is definitely being done wrong if the pain goes on for too long and hurts so much that you have to stop. The pain should subside after a short while then only pleasure and maybe soreness afterwards.


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Pregnancy / Re: Possibly pregnant
« on: November 29, 2018, 08:48:07 PM »
Have you had any symptoms? What do you mean by 'off'? The best thing you can do is take a test. Also if the condom ripped he should have told you. It's your body and if something like that happened and he didn't tell you in the moment it suggests he's not trust worthy to me.

 You don't have to buy an expensive test, a dollar/pound store test will do just fine, they are just as effective get two just in case. (They use the same ones in hospitals and clinics).

Honestly though if you think you may be pregnant just take a test or go see your GP. There's not much we can do here but speculate.

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Relationships / Re: Addiction 18+ Replies Please
« on: November 29, 2018, 08:28:34 PM »
Hearing you were exposed to pornography at such a young age also brings up questions for me. It’s illegal to expose a child to porn and is child abuse. so I do wonder how that came about and how it was allowed to continue.
*I don’t expect you to answer* I’m just mentioning it because usually if a child is exposed to something like that it’s often part of sexual abuse or grooming or perhaps neglect and those might be some more issues that you might want to work through with a therapist

Firstly, thank you for your responses! I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders since posting this.

I wasn't exposed to the pornography on purpose. I was a very nosey child, I think that the problems were just with how my parents dealt with it. I've always felt very guilty about the addiction because I was basically told sex was wrong since the beginning, maybe if they had approached it differently I wouldn't have taken this route.

 I was a victim of 'grooming' and some forms of abuse (molesting) I won't go into detail however it happened outside of the ponorgraphy incident, which definitely contributed to the grooming my parents were only aware of one time and the others I havent told them about simply for the reason that it no longer serves me.

I'm not a victim anymore, I was able to move on from it, I've forgiven them and my abusers were also underage at the time so I don't directly blame them either. I have completely come to terms with that side of things. This addiction is the last thing on the list.

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Relationships / Re: Addiction 18+ Replies Please
« on: November 29, 2018, 08:35:06 AM »
I don't watch mature content, and I'm not addicted to anythung, but have you considered therapy? Maybe you got to a point where therapy is the only way out of this.

I think you may be right, sometimes I wish I never saw any of it at all. It's had such a negative impact on me, the guilt gets really intense too so I guess therapy could help with that as well.

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Relationships / Cheating
« on: November 29, 2018, 12:08:03 AM »
 :-\ Let's have a serious talk. Is cheating really the end of the relationship, or can it be salvaged?

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Relationships / Re: Meeting new guys
« on: November 28, 2018, 11:55:34 PM »
Try asking friends you trust to set you up, it's good to try and date someone that has a well known history.
Small talk can go a long way sometimes, in a queue at a Starbucks, elevator, train journey, try and do it with someone who's face you're familiar with, seen around but never spoke to before. Genuinely get to know them, you might not find a bf but you might make a new friend.

Go out on group outings meet friends of friends, make yourself available.

Do not go for guys in clubs, house parties however are a better option. Their not complete randoms and it's likely you might see them again.

Try and frequent your local cafes or libraries, you might meet someone local to you. Don't be afraid to make efforts with your appearance. And flirt a little even if there's no end goal to it.

See a guy notice you? Smile (If you're interested)

Check your area for free workshops, people that attend these are usually quite friendly, you get to work in groups = hopefully meeting an interesting guy.

Hope this helps! I know its easier said than done but sometimes a little effort goes a long way.

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Relationships / Re: First time
« on: November 28, 2018, 11:46:16 PM »
Just something to bare in mind for the next time. Whoever it is needs to make sure that you're lubricated (wet) before shoving it in, try foreplay, kissing, teasing, oral. Your first experience doesn't have to be that painful. Your mind as well as your body needs to be stimulated and relaxed don't rush, explore each other and enjoy the moment.

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Relationships / Re: Advice please
« on: November 28, 2018, 11:31:16 PM »
You have every right to explore your sexuality, don't be afraid of people judging you, you'll always be judged by someone no matter what you do. All you can do now is take your time to discover yourself, find out exactly what it is you like maybe you are bisexual.

Don't worry about labels, only you can define it for yourself, and once you've decided you should be proud. Secondly, it's okay to change your mind too, you'll grow and learn from experience, nothing is set in stone. Claiming bisexual today is not legally binding lol.

Good luck with your journey! :)

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Relationships / Re: How many times should you have sex with your partner
« on: November 28, 2018, 11:19:51 PM »
One or twice a week, is healthy but awfully long and ranty side note:

I only put once or twice because there was no 'whenever you want to' option. I don't think there's such thing as obligation when it comes to sex with your bf/gf. The only thing you 'should' do is WANT to give yourself to them.

If your partner wants sex, (let me know if you disagree with me)they should put in the work to stimulate their partner in the event that thy aren't receptive whether it be tiredness or maybe not in the right head space.
And if the answer is still no, boundaries and consideration! Accepting your partner has other needs over sex is important as is acknowledging your partner does have sexual needs, find middle ground, as we know in a relationship you're still your own person.

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Relationships / Addiction 18+ Replies Please
« on: November 28, 2018, 11:06:14 PM »
Hi, I'll apologise now for the large essay. This not meant for anyone under 18. If you're curious go ask your parents.

So I was exposed to 18+ materials from a very young age, like 4/5 and I would often watch this content behind my parents back. I was caught a few times but they never took the time to explain things to me and I would just be scolded. I would avoid it for a while but sure enough I'd go right back to it. Things got worse as I got older, I had discovered a lot about sex by the time I was 16 however due to lack of self-esteem and depression, I strayed from social settings and remained a virgin. When I turned 17, I got with my 1st and only legitimate boyfriend, we were both virgins and very new to relationships. Eventually we began exploring, and it didn't start out very innocent due to my background.
Long story short after a year we lost our virginity to each other but I started to feel pressure to be the women I had seen online to keep him interested (even though he didn't care) I was just being a typical teenage girl.

I found myself watching it more often and it was then that I had my first orgasm. All that time I was unaware that that's what it was used for. Shamelessly it became a habit, I did it before college, after college, before bed, anytime I was home alone. I believe this is where my problem started, I can no longer be stimulated through my clitoris by my partner and only orgasm if I'm watching those videos or with a very powerful toy. My taste in content becomes more and more outrageous borderlining things that I strongly disagree with, I'm extremely disgusted by it but it doesn't stop me.
 
As years went by I went on various forms of contraceptives, the pill, the implant for 2 years and the depo injection for a year and a half, with these I suffered greatly from the hormonal depression, lack of libido and vaginal dryness side affects, I was struggling to become aroused and this is when I really began to abuse the online content. I have been off of contraception (just condoms) for 7 months now as a desperate attempt to salvage my sex life with my amazing partner. I have began to notice that this addiction is putting a strain on our relationship, we have been together for 6 years now so it would be quite weird if he didn't notice that I don't orgasm. We've spoke about it and I've briefly explained the reasons why and tried to ensure him that it's not his fault (not sure he believes me). I'm scared that I'll lose him because of it. It makes me feel so guilty everytime we have sex because he's always trying to please me to no end, it has got to the point where I turn down his advances to avoid disappointing him. I have stopped watching it for almost 3 weeks now but I get very, very tempted and urges every hour of the day. I would be grateful for some advice from anyone else who may have experienced this on how to become sensitive to my partner again.

I also hope that my story serves as a warning, 'pornography' can become an addiction when you have depression and can cause desensitization from your loved ones and it's not as uncommon in women as you might think. Thank you.

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Health / Re: Endometriosis and PCOS
« on: November 28, 2018, 10:14:59 PM »
 
I have both endometriosis and pcos, and if you have either of those you know just how much pain one of them can bring along. Currently, both have gone rogue and decided to act up at the same time. Medication does not work, even strong pain killers. Any ideas for pain control? Also if I’m not alone out there with this please let me know.

As for pain control I take diclofenic suppositories because I can't ingest pain killers orally without throwing up since I usually lose my appetite to eat. I take one a day if the pain is really bad and then rely on oral pain killers for the milder pains. Since the rectum absorbs it rather quickly I'm usually pain free within 30 minutes to an hour. It has been a complete life saver at times. I 100% recommend it for anyone suffering from endometriosis or painful periods in general. But try not to depend on them heavily.

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