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Messages - イザベル

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Relationships / Re: Should I leave my fiancé?
« on: October 30, 2018, 08:52:14 AM »
I think overall this is a communication issue common in relationships, and needs sorting out if you want a long and happy marriage (which I hope for you!).

Sounds like your fiancé “stonewalls”, a psych term for someone who essentially becomes an unresponsive wall when feeling threatened. One of my exes did this a lot and it was super annoying, so I feel you.

On the other hand, communication is a two-way street. He may not be responding well to certain ways you’re phrasing your objections.

As someone mentioned, try talking things out at a calm point when you’re not caught up in the heat of an argument. Try speaking from a direct, first person point of view instead of voicing straight complaints. E.g: “I feel __ when I want us to ___ but you do __ instead.” It’s better than “You do __ and it’s annoying.”

And instead of apologizing for your feelings, ask about his and really listen. You might not agree with his opinions entirely, but don’t flat out reject them either.

Hope this helps!

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Relationships / Re: Too inappropriate?
« on: October 26, 2018, 04:58:41 AM »
I think it’s good to not restrict access.
Some young people may not have a good adult figure in their life to ask questions to, or may not feel comfortable. This forum provides an outlet for learning and asking. Yes, people might be a little too detailed, but I don’t think we should block information just because we think it’s inappropriate for their young minds. If someone stumbles upon something they feel uncomfortable reading, they have the choice to stop reading.

I do understand your point though. There could be a section for really X-rated stuff, but moderators can’t tell if a user is lying.

As someone also mentioned, they can find anything on the internet anyway.

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Relationships / Re: Crossroads
« on: October 26, 2018, 04:49:26 AM »
I won’t say you need to leave him, but I will say that you shouldn’t need to babysit a 35 yr old.

Sounds like you need a really long talk, and don’t let him dodge your questions! After 4 yrs, you should be able to clearly figure out your future together. He may have proposed without being ready, and that’s okay. But will he ever be ready is the question.

As for yourself, do you see the two of you growing old together? If not, then it may be time to move on. And I agree with the fact that the past years haven’t been a waste, they’ve probably helped you learn things about yourself and what things work and don’t work in a relationship for you.

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Relationships / Re: Paying for dates
« on: October 26, 2018, 04:38:01 AM »
It’s okay to feel like this. It’s not okay that it’s happening.

He’s paying for the gas, I presume? How much are you spending when you’re together then?

If you’re in a strong and healthy relationship, definitely bring up the issue to him. There needs to be a balance in any relationship, and that includes monetary expenses too. Communication is key.

Also, it’s okay to help him out when he needs it, but it’s bad if he’s clearly depending on you to feed him. You’re not his babysitter or mother, you’re his partner.

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Beauty & Fashion / Re: Thighs and cellulite
« on: October 26, 2018, 04:30:46 AM »
Safe to say most people are self-conscious about their body—and it’s okay!

Cellulite is super normal; you can have it even with skinny thighs. (As you said, it’s genetic.)

I have wide hips and thighs, which isn’t typical for Asians (which I am), so I’m always a bit self-conscious. But I don’t let it stop me from wearing short things (within reason). Eventually I just let myself be comfortable with a certain length. I know the difference between letting stuff ride up my cheeks, and nice mid-thigh shorts.
If you’re really eyeing a pair of shorts or a skirt, don’t let the fear of others’ judgment stop you. Wear them with confidence, and that’s how others will see you too. Hope this helped.

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Just for teens / Re: :(
« on: October 26, 2018, 04:23:19 AM »
Ok so first off do you know for sure this guy wasn’t some creep on the internet. Second, I would move on there are plenty of guys out there

Agreed, online relationships are risky. There can be anyone behind the screen. Unless you can actually see the person you’re talking to, you don’t know anything for sure. I wouldn’t recommend setting up a meeting irl either, unless it’s seriously a long, ongoing relationship.

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Just for teens / Re: don’t know and scared
« on: October 26, 2018, 04:15:47 AM »
If you’re not sure if you want to have sex, definitely don’t. Since you haven’t really thought about it a lot, you might regret if you just do it with a random guy that you met once at a party.

When you see him again and things really start to heat up, you’ll basically know then and there if you want to go all the way. If there’s any doubt in your mind, say, no and say it clearly. If for some reason he’s forcing you to continue, punch him.  :) seriously.

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Just for teens / Re: Boy trouble
« on: October 26, 2018, 03:47:16 AM »
Sounds like the last real conversation you had with him was when you told him to just see other girls, and you don’t remember what he said as a response.

First think—what is he to you? Do you really like him, want a casual relationship or just want to see more of him as a friend?

Once you got that figured out, talk to him. You’ll never know what’s going on until you straight up clarify your relationship.

But I will say, now that you’re in college it’s a good chance to pursue new relationships. Don’t let this bump keep you from enjoying life.

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Just for teens / Re: Worried about height
« on: October 26, 2018, 03:40:17 AM »
You’ll likely end up somewhere in the middle of your parents’ heights or nearer to your mom’s. Inprobable you’ll be as tall as your dad because females don’t grow as much in height as males during puberty, generally speaking.

Plus we stop growing when we near 20. From that point on we just shrink.

Overall, don’t sweat it; you’ll rock your height either way, average or tall.  ;D

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Home & Lifestyle / Re: Tattoo
« on: October 26, 2018, 03:19:18 AM »
I’ve only got one on my wrist but it didn’t hurt too much. Then again, I’m not scared of needles.

Pain thresholds are different for everyone, but you can pretty much say that anywhere boney or with many nerves will sting quite a bit! Like the spine!! Anywhere with a little extra “padding” won’t hurt as much.  ;)

It also depends on the size of your tattoo. If it’s complex, you’re going to be sitting or laying on the table for quite some time, or may have to revisit if it takes many hours.

Not sure what’s best for you? Get a consultation with the parlor or artist you’re thinking of.  ^-^

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Welcome / Re: What country are you from?
« on: October 26, 2018, 03:11:57 AM »
The US, from California.
But now living in Japan on visa.

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Health / Nausea after 1st GYNO/Pap Smear??
« on: October 26, 2018, 03:09:00 AM »
Hello all! This is my first ever forum post after using PD for some time now to track my cycle.  :)

Bit long story here, scroll to bottom for summary.     ;D

Anyway, today I had my first ever gynecology visit/pap smear exam. I wasn’t particularly nervous, mainly because I didn’t read people’s horror stories beforehand... The exam itself was fine—no pain and no abnormal lumps from just feeling.

However, I started to feel a mild (but painless) pressure starting a few hrs ago, and now about 6 hrs since my exam, I’m incredibly nauseous (kind of a lower stomach/chest nausea). Just wondering if anyone else experienced this before?

As a side note, I did have blood drawn and felt faint. I experienced lightheaded-ness, spotty vision, and mild hearing loss—a complete first for me!! (I was kind of embarrassed actually.)

Could the two be related??

TLDR; pap exam was good, but felt faint with blood drawn. 6 hrs later, very nauseous but no pain. Wondering if normal??

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